No news on the pregnancy/miscarriage front. I will go for my blood draw tomorrow as planned, but otherwise I am still just waiting for my period to start.
I don't think I am sad about our loss because I really didn't have time to get attached to the pregnancy. From the first + HPT, it seemed to me that things weren't right, given that I'd been having cramps and spotting for two days and had had a "period" a week before (not to mention taking Clomid & Follistim). As soon as I got my first beta hCG result back and it was so low, I had a strong feeling that things were not going to end well.
At the same time, though, I am just not myself. I brought work home yesterday, intending to work from home this morning, and I have accomplished nothing. I just don't have the motivation or concentration necessary to get work done.
I lack enthusiasm for my usual activities besides work, too. Just making breakfast and packing my gym bag for this evening seemed to take a lot more effort than usual.
Maybe I am sad on some level, even though intellectually I don't believe that I am. I don't think any good purpose is served by my being mopey, so I hope I am back to my usual self soon.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I think even this type of loss is hard. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am sure that you are not feeling yourself. Your hormones are not quite even, most likely. Add that to the emotions associated with a positive HPT and the loss, and you have a LOT to deal with. Hang in there! Hugs.
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