Wednesday, August 31, 2011

14 weeks

(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)

Total Weight Loss/Gain: Down 7-8 lbs from what I weighed the morning before our embryo transfer.  My weight loss finally leveled off in the past two weeks.  I'd feel better if I were gaining, but I'll take it.

Maternity Clothes:  No. Although I weigh less now than I've weighed in years, my weight is distributed differently, so a couple of pairs of my pants put uncomfortable pressure on my lower abdomen now.

Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.

Sleep: I'm sleeping OK these days.  I am still pretty tired but *maybe* not the paralyzing fatigue I've had. . . or maybe I've just had a few good days?

Movement:  I've seen them moving on my ultrasounds but haven't felt movement yet.

Cravings/Aversions:  I still have many, many food aversions and continue have a bad taste in my mouth for no apparent reason.  I have found that I've been craving salty foods lately, which is unusual for me.

Gender: Don't know yet, too early.  (Yes, we have a "guess.")

Symptoms: I still have nausea when I don't take my Zo.fran and heartburn when I skip Zantac. My breasts are sore/sensitive, especially the nipples. I am much more tired than usual.

What I miss:  Having energy. Being able to enjoy food. Seeing my friends.  (My lack of energy and food intolerances have made me a virtual hermit apart from going to the office.)

What I look forward to:  My nausea going away!  Please?
Moods: Generally good.

Milestones:  We made it to the second trimester!

Medical concerns:  None so far.

Sex?:  Yeah, we did it.  Nothing bad happened.  :-)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Coming out

MM and I had agreed that, if our NT scan was negative, after the NT scan, we would start telling people about the pregnancy.  I guess I should really say "telling more people," because quite a few people already knew. . . . including anyone who reads this blog (though most of you don't know us in real life), several of my close friends, my sister, our parents, a couple of MM's and my coworkers.

Yesterday I sent out an email to all the friends and extended family members who didn't yet know I was pregnant, and MM gave his mom the go ahead to tell her friends and extended family.  Today I posted a brief status update on Fa.ceb.ook letting people know that I am pregnant with twins, due in February.  (I know, many of us hate reading these kinds of things on Fa.ceb.ook, and I've ranted about such postings on this very blog in the past. . . . but there are a number of people I wanted to know I'm pregnant with whom Fa.ceb.ook is my only link.  I kept it short and sweet and skipped the ultrasound photos.)

As expected, I've received lots of congratulatory emails and comments.  (A commonly used word is "wow," LOL.)  It's been nice to share the news, as I am not a secretive person by nature.  It's been odd not mentioning I'm pregnant to certain people, when it's such a huge part of what's going on with me. . . . particularly with feeling like crap the majority of the time.

Of course, today I had the irrational (but not entirely unexpected) thought "What if something goes wrong?"  The downside to letting people know about my pregnancy is that I/we will have to also tell them if something bad happens.  I didn't allow myself to dwell on this thought, though; we just saw that the babies were doing fine on Monday, and I have no rational reason to believe anything has changed since then.

Oh, and to people who have asked if we did fertility treatments or IVF--yes, there have been a few--I have simply responded "Yes, we did" and left it at that.  I don't see the point in making a big deal out of that, and I actually like the idea that people know that we very much wanted to be parents and that these aren't "oops" babies.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I am fine with people knowing this pregnancy is very, um, pre-meditated and planned.

No one has asked me if we used donor eggs, and I can't imagine that anyone will.  After all, most people who haven't dealt with infertility firsthand think IVF is the cure-all for everyone who can't conceive, even women over 40 like me.  And while conception at 40 is rarer than at, say, 25, it still happens naturally quite a bit.  (For other people, not for us, obviously.)  Four years ago, when I had never tried to conceive myself or known I was infertile, I don't know that I'd have guessed a 40-year-old woman might have used donor eggs to achieve pregnancy.

Another step along the path.

P.S.  I wanted to address mommyinwaiting's comment on my last post about whether I'm going to continue to keep you all in suspense about the gender prediction.  I am, just because I don't entirely trust it this early.  The tech said pretty clearly that the angles on both babies were less than ideal for predicting, and as I understand it, the difference between boy and girl is all about "the angle of the dangle" at this early gestational age.  Rest assured that once we have a more solid prediction at our anatomy scan (scheduled for October 7), I will share it.  In the meantime, if you think you know what we're having, why not vote on the poll I've posted?

Monday, August 22, 2011

NT scan

(Another pregnancy-related post. . . . in case you don't want to read it.)




I had my NT scan this morning, and it was normal.  Babies' heart rates were 168 and 151 beats per minute.  We got to see a lot of both babies, since they initially weren't in the right position for the measurements the tech needed.  Both were very active.

We asked the tech if she would guess the genders, and she took a guess, though she stressed that it was just a guess, given that the positions of both babies made it hard to tell.  We have decided to keep this to ourselves for now, since it's so early.  We will see if she was right when we have our anatomy scan at 18-20 weeks.

So far, so good.

(Oh, and for anyone who may be wondering. . . . yes, I'm still having all day nausea--with related symptoms--and fatigue.  I'll be 13 weeks on Wednesday, so maybe a respite is in sight?  We'll see.)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Ha ha

I had a few hours of brown spotting yesterday. . . a small amount, but I thought I should call my OB, just to be on the safe side.  (The spotting subsided within a few hours, thank goodness.)

The triage nurse from the office didn't call me back until this morning, which I told MM was a good sign.  Prior times I've called, she's gotten back to me within an hour, so the delay reassured me that this was nothing urgent I needed to be worried about and that they wouldn't need me to come in.

Anyway, when I talked to the nurse, she gave me the standard spiel about resting, drinking lots of fluids, monitoring the spotting and calling back if the bleeding was red, soaking a pad an hour, or accompanied by cramping.  She also told me that I should avoid "exercise and intercourse" for at least 48 hours after the spotting stopped.

I told her "Oh, don't worry: I haven't done either of those things in six weeks anyway."  I could tell by her slight pause and tone that my comment made her a little uncomfortable.

Gah, you'd think being a nurse in an OB office, she'd have heard it all by now.  Hee hee

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

12 weeks

(This post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, click away.  Hope to see you again soon.)

Total Weight Loss/Gain: Down 9 lbs from what I weighed the morning before our embryo transfer.

Maternity Clothes: No.

Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.

Sleep:  I haven't slept well lately because I've had a cough and congestion from a cold.  I continue to be tired nearly all the time.

Movement: I see them moving on my ultrasounds but don't feel it yet.

Cravings/Aversions:  No cravings, lots of food aversions.  This past weekend was the first time EVER that I've visited my home state of New Mexico and not had green chile.  I can't tolerate anything spicy (which is VERY unlike me).

Gender: Don't know yet, too early.

Symptoms: I still have nausea when I don't take my Zo.fran and heartburn when I skip Zantac. Beginning yesterday, I am trying to tough it out without the Zo.fran when I can because the constipation got pretty bad. My breasts are sore/sensitive, and I have occasional mild uterine cramps. I am extremely tired most of the time.

What I miss: Having energy. Being able to enjoy food. Feeling good.  Being able to take medications for my cold that actually help me.

What I look forward to: NT scan on August 22.  Reaching the second trimester (when I pray this exhaustion and nausea will subside).

Moods:  I have felt a little down on occasion lately because of feeling poorly physically and all the things I can't do because I don't have the energy.  The thought that I will soon be feeling a little better, at least temporarily, is what keeps me going.

Milestones: I'm told that all our babies major organs are now formed, so that's cool.  My biggest personal milestone for this week is that I no longer have to take PIO injections--hooray!  (Now maybe all the lumps on my posterior can start to go away.)

Medical concerns: None, thank goodness.

Sex?:  Um, no thanks.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Anxiety: what is "normal"?

I'm not much of a worrier by nature.  Sure, like anyone, I worry about some things from time to time.  But by and large, I don't have a lot of anxiety or spend a lot of time dwelling on "what if"s.  It's just not my personality.

MM, on the other hand, is an inveterate worrier.  So as you can imagine, his worrying has been in overdrive since we found out I am pregnant.  I've tried to tell him that there will always be something to worry about, even once these babies are (we hope) born and healthy.  He still worries about every little thing.

In addition to the usual pregnancy-related nausea and exhaustion, I have been sick with a head cold for the past few days.  (If nothing else, it's been a good reminder that even though I thought I couldn't possibly feel worse, I could and do.)  I woke up yesterday with some unaccustomed pain in my lower abdomen and right flank and ended up going to the OB to get checked out.

The OB took a quick look at the babies on ultrasound and examined me.  She sent my urine for culture but basically concluded that I'd probably strained some muscles from coughing and sleeping in a strange bed over the weekend (we were out of town for a friend's wedding).  I ended up taking the rest of the day off work to rest and recuperate.

Last night, I slept a little better but had a really negative dream about this pregnancy.  I dreamed that when I went for my NT scan (which is scheduled for this coming Monday), both the babies hearts had stopped beating.  I don't know what put this thought into my subconscious mind, particularly when I'd just been at the doctor earlier in the day and seen them, beating hearts and all.  I certainly have no rational reason to believe that anything is going to go wrong.

I suppose a lot of pregnant women have similar dreams or concerns, and I'd guess for women who've gone through infertility, the percentage is even higher.  I guess a bit more anxiety than my norm, even if it only creeps out when I'm sleeping, is to be expected.

What do you think?

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

10w6d

(Warning: Another all pregnancy post.)



I only have time for a quick post.  (Crazy busy at work these days.)

I had my OB appointment this morning, and the babies are both doing fine.  Was able to see them on my first abdominal ultrasound, and they were both moving around a lot.  (One did a flip while we were watching.)  They look more like tiny babies and less like embryos than they did last check.  The OB was able to check their heartbeats and said they looked fine.

I lost another pound--down 8 total since the morning of our transfer--and the doctor was mildly concerned.  Though she did agree that there is hope that my nausea will start to subside in the next few weeks.

My next step is having my NT scan in the next couple of weeks.  If all goes well with that, we will start telling more people about the pregnancy then.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

10 weeks

(This post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)

Total Weight Loss/Gain: Down 6.8 lbs from what I weighed the morning before our embryo transfer.

Maternity Clothes: No. My regular clothes are still fitting more loosely than they were a few weeks ago, due to the weight I've lost.  I've actually gotten comments at work (where my pregnancy is as-yet unknown to nearly everyone) that I look thinner.  Ironic.

Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.

Sleep:  I'm sleeping OK these days, not having the difficulty falling asleep I was having a couple of weeks ago.  I am still tired all the time, though.

Movement: Nope, much too early.

Cravings/Aversions: No cravings, but I have still many, many food aversions.  I often have a bad, somewhat metallic, taste in my mouth for no apparent reason, and most foods sound gross to me.  I've actually started eating things only to throw them away, VERY unlike me.

Gender: Don't know yet, too early.

Symptoms: I still have nausea when I don't take my Zo.fran and heartburn when I skip Zantac.  Beginning yesterday, I am trying to tough it out without the Zo.fran when I can because the constipation got pretty bad.  My breasts are sore/sensitive, and I have occasional mild uterine cramps.  I am extremely tired most of the time.

What I miss: Having energy. Being able to enjoy food. Feeling good.

What I look forward to: Our next ultrasound on August 9.  I hope everything is going OK in there.

Moods: Generally good, though I have been much more emotional than usual.  Friends and family usually joke that I'm "dead inside" because I rarely cry, but that's changed.  I actually cried watching a documentary about De.rek Je.ter's 3000th hit over the weekend. . . and I'm not even a Yankee fan.

Milestones: The Wonder Twins are now fetuses instead of embryos.

Medical concerns:  None, thank goodness.

Sex?: We've still only done the deed once since transfer.  MM is over his fear now, I think, but I feel too crappy and tired.  Poor guy.