Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Never mind

I got a call back from a NP at the RE's office who told me that there is no way that the bleeding I am having is a normal period because it's too soon after the miscarriage. It's just "withdrawal bleeding" from changing hormone levels. She told me to call back when I get my "next cycle day one" in about three to four weeks.

Three weeks from today is 9/8. Four weeks from today is 9/15. Either CD 1 would have my monitoring and/or IUI falling during my vacation.

Which means I am back to being screwed for next cycle unless it takes more than the four weeks they are estimating for AF to arrive.

The NP offered to find a lab in the northern Virginia/DC area where we will be on vacation for me to get my follow-up beta hCG level drawn and said that the pharmacy they use can overnight me my Follistim and Clomid should I start while I'm gone. The mid-cycle follicle check u/s, however, they must do themselves or they will not do my IUI.

Maybe I'm just not dedicated enough to my treatment, but I don't want to do either of those things. I don't want to waste any of my precious and brief time on vacation traipsing to a lab to get blood drawn. I don't particularly want to be taking injections during my vacation (though I will if the timing works out that way). There's no chance that I'm going to cut my vacation short to come home for an u/s.

I'm feeling very frustrated. When we decided to start doing IUIs in April, after a full year of TTC on our own with no results, we agreed to do up to the six cycles for which insurance will pay a portion. Since April, we have done a sum total of ONE IUI. One. In four months. At this rate, I will be over 40 before we get all six IUIs done. (My 40th birthday is 19 months from Friday.)

To recap, in May, my husband screwed up and didn't pick up my meds. In June, I had a conflict with my work schedule that could not be moved and had to do only timed intercourse instead of the IUI we had planned. In July, we had to take a break entirely because of all the work conflicts I had. (Ironically, that was the cycle when we finally saw the elusive second line on the HPT, though that didn't end well.) Now this.

(Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone with the point I am about to raise.) I had occasion to read the Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Facilities issued by the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops yesterday for work, and they make clear that the Church frowns on what we are doing. (They disapprove even of a man masturbating to produce a semen sample.) And while I am not a particularly devout Catholic, I can't help but wonder whether all these scheduling conflicts are a sign from God (the universe? fate?) that we should not be doing any type of intervention.

I don't know. I'm just so tired of all this. I can't imagine how those of you who have gone through treatment cycle after treatment cycle, month after month, can do it. I can't seem to get it together to even do every other month.


  1. That is so frustrating. It's hard to get yourself all geared up for a "cycle" only to find out it may not work. I find myself questioning God and timings and everything - and maybe there will never be a full clear answer...but just follow your heart and be to yourself - that can never be wrong.

  2. I had a chemical pregnancy with my first IVF and I got a period about 10 days-2 weeks after my beta hit zero. It was definitely a regular period, though I took a couple of cycles off so I am not sure if they would have let me start again. Sorry for yours being postponed to a bad time for you. any thoughts of taking the pill to get the timing right? good luck with making your decisions on moving forward or not, not easy to do-

  3. SS has a good idea - have you talked about taking the pill to help with the timing/ scheduling conflicts?

    I'm sorry you've had yet another setback; I know how wearrying it is. When we first went to our RE it took several months of treating cysts (left over from Clomid my OB perscribed me) before we could even start fertility treatments. It broke my heart to see all that time and money spent to go nowhere.

  4. Can you take provera/prometrium to make your period come earlier?

  5. I'm sorry things are so frustrating!!! It's so unfair that you have to give up your life in order to get an UIU. :( I wouldn't want to interrupt my vacation either.

  6. I think bluebirds advice sounds good....but I have to admit, I don't understand the NP and the fact that this can't be your real period.....mine was only 6 days late, and 12 days late for both of my early MCs.....and they were real periods....hoping that the timing works out for you. Just one more thing that IFers have to worry about!

  7. I would say that God must be alright with these treatments, otherwise babies would never be born from them, the way I see it, a soul can only come from the divine source. Now, I also believe that if it's not meant to be, no matter how hard we try, it won't happen.
    In your case, where you sa that you "don't seem able to get it together" for the timing of the treatments, I'd say that psychologically speaking, when we commit to something, but then can't seem able to get the timing right and follow through, it usually indicates that part of our psyches are reluctant towards what we are doing. So you can investigate that by yourself or with some sort of counseling, whatever works for you. For now i'd say go enjoy your vacation free of needles and such, connecting with your husband and get back to your fertility plans when you get back. After you relax together, you might be able to figure out what path you wish to take and how you'll go about it.


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