Monday, August 10, 2009

Feeling blah

No news on the pregnancy/miscarriage front. I will go for my blood draw tomorrow as planned, but otherwise I am still just waiting for my period to start.

I don't think I am sad about our loss because I really didn't have time to get attached to the pregnancy. From the first + HPT, it seemed to me that things weren't right, given that I'd been having cramps and spotting for two days and had had a "period" a week before (not to mention taking Clomid & Follistim). As soon as I got my first beta hCG result back and it was so low, I had a strong feeling that things were not going to end well.

At the same time, though, I am just not myself. I brought work home yesterday, intending to work from home this morning, and I have accomplished nothing. I just don't have the motivation or concentration necessary to get work done.

I lack enthusiasm for my usual activities besides work, too. Just making breakfast and packing my gym bag for this evening seemed to take a lot more effort than usual.

Maybe I am sad on some level, even though intellectually I don't believe that I am. I don't think any good purpose is served by my being mopey, so I hope I am back to my usual self soon.


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. I think even this type of loss is hard. Take care of yourself.

  2. I am sure that you are not feeling yourself. Your hormones are not quite even, most likely. Add that to the emotions associated with a positive HPT and the loss, and you have a LOT to deal with. Hang in there! Hugs.


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