Thursday, April 23, 2009

Why I've abandoned my charting website

As I mention in my sidebar, I gave up BBT charting after 10 cycles because (1) it wasn't helping me get pregnant, (2) my RE (& I) didn't feel it was necessary, given the regularity of my cycles, and (3) it was making me crazy. I really hated trying to wake up at the same time every day to take my temperature before doing anything else; usually when I wake up, I have to pee really badly. It was a pain to have to hold it for a minute or two while the thermometer got its reading. Not to mention all the obsessing over my chart during every 2WW and the over-intrepretation of every little rise or fall in temperature.

I used to chart my cycles on a popular website designed for that purpose. I don't want to name the site, but I will say that its initials are "FF." This website also has message boards for various topics related to TTC.

In addition to time spent obsessing over my chart, I used spend a lot of time reading and posting on the message boards. I had a buddy group in which I posted daily. Not surprisingly, I am one of only two original members of the buddy group who has not yet conceived. The other woman who is still TTC after a year has had complications with timing due to both her and her husband's work-related travel. Several women have already had their babies, as a matter of fact.

In addition to my buddy group, I "got to know" some other very cool women through the website. I've kept up with a few of them through Facebook and through our blogs. I'm very glad that I had the opportunity to become acquainted with these ladies via the internet.

After I stopped charting, I stopped visiting the website altogether for a few months. In the last few weeks, I went back to the website because (1) I thought it would be a convenient place to chart the daily OPKs I had to use and (2) a couple of buddies' babies were due and I wanted to see their babies' photos. (These were buddies with whom FF was my only link.)

I've posted before about some of the things that annoyed me on the message boards. And of course, in the couple of weeks that I have been back participating, once again something similar to what annoyed me before happened .

In my initial excitement (short-lived though it was) on the morning of my IUI, I began participating in a thread of women who are waiting to test on the same day that I will be, 5/1. Supposedly the goal of all the women on the thread was to support each other to avoid testing early.

I've been checking the thread once a day. Not a big deal. (For some reason, the message boards just don't have the same appeal for me that they once had.)

Today when I checked the thread, one of the women posted that she had "caved" and tested (over a week) early. Her test was positive. All the other women posted congratulations. I did not post anything. I got angry. I will admit it: I was not happy for her at all.

Lest you think that I have now reached the bitter point where I cannot even be happy about someone else's pregnancy, allow me to provide more information. This woman, who is younger than I am, was TTC her 5th child, and this cycle was the 2nd one she had tried. Wow, what a struggle with infertility she has had!

Understand my bitterness a little better now? ;-)

So yeah, I think I'm pretty much done with that site and its message boards. I am grateful that I am not yet at a point where I can't be happy for friends and family members who announce their pregnancies. . . . but clearly I've been at a point for a while where I can't be happy for anyone who gets pregnant after less than 6 months of TTC and already has at least 4 children.

Knowing this about myself, it's best that I just avoid putting myself in situations where I have to hear about this.


  1. I gave up charting for that same reason. I think charting increases our chance of pregnancy from .000001 to .0000015. Yeah whatever.

    Did the other woman do a medicated IUI too? Because I know people who test way too early after their trigger shot and get a false positive. Yep. Thou shalt not test after taking a trigger shot!

  2. Frau, I should have made this clear in the original post. No, this woman used no meds or intervention. She conceived naturally. . . on her second cycle TTC #5.

  3. Ugh. I'd bail too. It's hard to commiserate with people that are fertile. I know that sounds terrible, but that's how I feel.

    Temping never did me any good either...

  4. Thank you for your comment on my blog. I temped forever, and it got me...ummm...a new thermometer?

    I hope your stay in infertility world is short.

  5. hey sharon! my membership is up in 9 days! i think i already told you though. we'll see how long i last away from there. i don't use it for charting, either. what is there to chart in IVF?

    i can keep up with most everyone on FB anyway!


  6. I totally understand. I would have reacted much the same way - but you are totally right to just remove yourself from the situation. You need to take care of yourself - that's all that matters.

  7. I would run far, far away from that too.


  8. I was so happy when I got to stop charting. I also had to cut my ties with message boards like the one you were talking about. Sometimes they became more hurtful than helpful. Hope May 1st is a lucky day for you!

  9. Sounds like you're making a good call.

    best of luck to you. I'm looking forward to following your progress.

    Mr. Shelby (from ICLW)

  10. I use FF, but never partcipated in the boards there. I have participated on the WTE boards....and met some good friends, like you I am one of the last of a group who have been communicating for almost a year. i still visit there, but have little patience for the rest of the posts, expecially the i am so frustrated, we have been trying for 2 months ...yeah, well, my fingers are crossed for you for May 1.

  11. Sometimes you have to take a break from things. I was letting ttc take over my life. I needed to de-stress, and this is what I've done. I hope that eliminating that aggravation will help you feel better.

  12. Thanks for your comment on my blog! :)

    *raises hand* Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I used to be an FF addict.

    Seriously, all I got out of charting was a deeper understanding of just how screwed up my body is. And a lack of sleep due to compulsive temperature-taking, not that it ever did any good. My bbt chart looked like the Alps. And I am so, so sorry about what happened on the message board. I would not have handled that well, either.

    Wishing you much luck this cycle!! (ICLW)

  13. Sounds like you've thought it out and are doing what is best for you. :)



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