Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Secret

I have been planning to write a post about the book The Secret which I fairly recently started reading.  Normally I would steer clear of anything so new age-y, but what can I say?  The desperation that has come with infertility has led me to explore and do things I normally wouldn't do.

I'm not sure if anyone else has read the book orheard about it.  (I'd be mildly surprised if you haven't, since the author was on the Oprah show and everything, but I know this is not everyone's cup of tea.)  To briefly summarize, it is about the law of attraction.  The basic premise is that negative thinking brings negative things, and that the power of positive thinking can bring good things into your life.    

One suggested exercise in the book was to come up with a focused sentence about what you want in the following format: "I am so happy and grateful now that _______________."  You would fill in the blank with whatever it was you are hoping to bring into your life.

I tried this a few times.  The first fill-in-the-blank I used was ". . . I am a mother."  I quickly realized, though, that this thought standing alone was incomplete in that motherhood can be achieved through different means. and that the word "mother" is actually a little vague.  We are not looking to build our family through adoption, but rather to have our own child by birth.  I do "mother" (verb) in various ways in my life already, but do not mother my own child.

So I revised my sentence so that my fill-in-the-blank was ". . . I am a mother raising the healthy child MM and I conceived together and brought into the world."  But that sentence seemed awfully cumbersome and complicated.  I get that The Universe needs some instruction, but isn't that going a little overboard?

I had planned to read more of the book. . . . but our dog Hunter ate it yesterday while I was at work.  Literally.  MM came home to find the book ripped to shreds with one of the covers missing.  Hunter doesn't often destroy things but has been known to do so when he is scared.  (If you are interested in seeing the aftermath of another episode of destruction resulting from Hunter's fear, there are photos here.)  The pest control guy visited yesterday mid-day and was spraying in our backyard, so we figure that Hunter probably was anxious with a stranger in his yard and took his anxiety out on The Secret.

Or maybe Hunter just doesn't believe in the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking.  One or the other.


  1. I hated hat book. I do know many people who used it worked for them (not for baby making though). I just tried it and it never worked so I gave up. Sorry it didn't work for you either :)

  2. I watched the dvd... twice and I was really pumped about using this new mindset to make things in my life happen or change... but it did nothing for me.... great video to get you into the positive thinking mode though.

  3. I have the book but haven't ever read it all the way through. Generally, I like the idea of "like attracts like" and positive thinking bringing good things into your life. Not sure if you can "will" something to happen by pretending it already has. In your case, I'd just say "I am so grateful that I'm pregnant," since that is the FIRST step you hope to achieve.

    But for me, the message of the book is that if you live with a positive happy outlook and spread GOOD where you go, GOOD will come to you. Who knows if that works or not, but at the very least, at least you're spreading good and maintaining a positive outlook that will no doubt benefit you in SOME way, even if it is just in your own state of being.

  4. i love hunter - he knows what he's doing. everyone at my company was all "secret"-gaga back in 2007. drove me nuts. i think positive thinking is important, but that book and the movie and the whole cult-like mentality took it too far.

    give hunter a pat on the head from me!!


  5. I tried to read the book, but I just couldn't get through it. I believe that what you put out into the world is returned back to you, but I don't necessarily believe that works in all things - particularly health/fertility. Like a pp said, it will definitely get you into a positive head space though.


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