Thursday, October 18, 2012

Update on Ferberizing

First off, let me say thank you to those of you who commented on my last post.  It does help a little to know that I am not alone in feeling this way.  Knowing I'm not alone hasn't helped me to "snap out" of my mood, but at least I feel more normal and less like I'm the only loser who can't seem to handle all of this stress with a smile on my face and a cheery mood.

I was pleasantly surprised, too, at the number of moms who commented that they had also used some method of sleep training, and I wanted to follow up on that post.  Feeling that there was "no time like the present," MM and I decided to start "Ferberizing" MJ on Monday night.  (Aside: every time I read or hear the term Ferberizing, it makes me think of Little Jack in the movie Meet The Fockers.)

I agreed to take the first night because MM is home with the boys all day on Mondays.  Between caring for them and fitting in the work he can during the hours they sleep, Mondays are a long day for him.  It didn't seem fair to set him up for (potentially) a long, sleepless night on top of that.

MJ went to sleep not long after 8 p.m. and awoke the first time about 10:45.  Following the method set forth in Dr. Ferber's book, I immediately went in to make sure he wasn't hungry, wet, dirty or in pain or distress.  Finding that he didn't, strictly speaking, need anything, I gave MJ his pacifier, rubbed his back for about 10 seconds, and then left the room, returning at the intervals set forth in the book.

I'm not gonna lie: it was very hard.  I hated hearing MJ cry and seeing his little red, tear-soaked face when I went in to check on him at the prescribed intervals.  Another hard part was when he'd see me come in and would stretch his little arms up for me to lift him out of the crib.  Heartbreaking.

But I stuck to my guns, and after a little over 30 minutes of crying--with checks at intervals--he stopped crying and went to sleep, poor lamb.  (Surprisingly, AJ, who was sleeping in his crib adjacent to MJ's in the same room, never once woke up during this whole period of time.)

MJ only woke once more, around 5:20 a.m., and this time he went back to sleep in less than three minutes.  Decent first night.

Tuesday night was MM's turn.  MJ went down around 8 and slept straight through until 4:45 a.m.  MM said he checked on him at that time, gave him his pacifier and rubbed his back for a few seconds, and he was back asleep in less than a minute and slept until after 7:30.  (Probably tired out from the night before, I'd guess.)

Last night MJ went down a little after 8 and woke around 10:45.  This time he only cried for a little over five minutes before going back to sleep.  He woke once more just after 5, and after being resettled and given his pacifier, was back to sleep in less than a minute.  He then slept until 6:15, when both he and AJ were up for the day.

Tonight will be MM's night again, and we will see how MJ does.  Our pediatrician said that the majority of children are "sleep trained" in 3-5 days using this method, so I am optimistic that we are through the worst of this.

Meanwhile, AJ has only woken once briefly in the past three nights due to his pacifier having fallen out of his crib.  We have not had to change anything in regard to AJ but have been putting him down drowsy (instead of fully asleep) as the book recommends, just to be on the safe side.

Sorry for the boring post.  I guess I've written this more to aid my memory in the future than because it's really of much interest to anyone reading.


  1. Glad it went well, I would say that sounds like success!

  2. We ferberized our twins, too. It'll be worth it! We did it at 7 mos. they sleep 11 hours mostly without interruptions. Good luck!


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