Thursday, May 7, 2009

Everywhere I turn

Lately it seems that everywhere I turn, someone else is pregnant or has recently had a baby. Although it's human nature to notice these things more when struggling with infertility, I know that this is not my imagination or a skewed perception based on my own struggles. It is just bizarre!

MM and I take our dog Sebastian (and now our new dog Hunter, also) to the park every evening after dark. (OK, to be more accurate: MM takes Sebastian every night, and since we agreed to get Hunter, I have been going every night also, but only went sporadically before.) Sebastian has made a few dog "friends" at the park. The last two dog friends he has made have had couples for owners. . . . in both instances, people a few years younger than us who are also newly married and who we could see ourselves befriending. MM and I don't have many "couple friends."

The first couple were an event photographer and a registered nurse. (I am a former registered nurse myself.) Our dogs played together so well, and we spent several pleasant occasions chatting with them. MM thought it might be fun to hang out with them and get to know them better. Then about 6 weeks ago, they shared that she is pregnant and due in September. We don't see them much any more now, probably because she is often tired and in bed by the time we arrive at the park (rarely before 8:30 p.m.). It's probably just as well. After they shared their good news with us, my comment to MM on the walk home was "well, I guess we won't be hanging out with them," and he agreed.

MM met the next couple on his own before I met them. He really liked them. The husband had lived in Chicago at one time, as did MM, and the wife is a lawyer like me (and even attended the same law school). He told me about them and their dog and how he thought it might be fun to get to know them better.

We ran into the husband of couple #2 at one of our last park visits with just Sebastian last week before bringing Hunter home. As the dogs played and the three of us chatted, he shared that he was alone because his wife was home in bed. Seems she was really tired due to being 6 weeks pregnant. Huh.

Like most people, I have a lot of "friends" on Facebook who would probably be more realistically categorized as acquaintances. Some are people I've gone to school with, primarily high school or law school; some are former co-workers.

Just today, one Facebook friend posted photos of her with her newborn daughter and another Facebook friend shared in a status update that she is expecting. (Both are law school acquaintances of mine.) Seems like this kind of news crops up at least once every week or so.

I could go on, but I think my point is made. Even the vet who examined Hunter for kennel cough yesterday was visibly pregnant.

And don't even get me started on all the Mothers Day marketing. I will be glad when Monday arrives for that reason alone.

I am happy for these women who are getting pregnant and having babies. I don't doubt that they will make wonderful, loving parents. I don't even know that I'd go so far as to say I envy these women, because envy implies that I wish that I had what they have INSTEAD of them. I don't begrudge anyone her own baby (assuming she is in a position to be a good mom).

But hearing their good news is a painful reminder of my own failure.


  1. I understand as I felt the same way. It is hard, and it is okay for you to feel that way.

  2. Here here. Absolutely nothing easy about being surrounded by pregnant women. Hang in there, I hope the weekend goes by quickly for you.

  3. I feel exactly the same. Just a little while ago I was hit with 3 friends announcing their pregnancies in one week. Grrrrr! When will it be our turn???

  4. I swear, I think there is a DEFINITE baby boom right now. I mean, really. I know I might be hypersensitive to visual implications, but I really think it is an epidemic! Example; I like to watch the t.v. show How I Met Your Mother and Greys Anatomy. Well, on the former, one female star hasn't been in three episodes because she is pregnant, and then just last week they started showing the other behind tables, and big purses, and I was like you've got to be freakin kidding me! It's in the water! On Greys, the actress who plays Meredith's little sister looked kind of plump in the face a few episodes ago, and I said at the time "hmm...she looks preggo." Yesterday I hear on the radio, Greys star has baby girl! Maybe if we become actresses, we can get some of their water! =)

  5. So its not just me. I swear I feel like they're crawling out of the woodwork.


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