Menopause preview

So based on what I've read about the effects of Lupron on hormone levels, I figured that this past weekend--while I am off BCPs and on Lupron only prior to starting estrogen tomorrow evening--would be like a preview of what menopause will be like.

If that's true, I must say. . . I'm no longer dreading menopause.  Aside from a couple of mildly unpleasant hot flashes and a dull headache Saturday afternoon, I really haven't had any symptoms.  (I have had kind of a "tight" anxiety-like feeling in my chest all week, but I can't quite parse out whether that is a medication side effect or simply due to anxiety related to all we have riding on the outcome of this cycle.)

I stumbled across a blogger's tips on minimizing Lupron side effects (I apologize; I didn't save a link to the blog to share here), and one thing she suggested was getting regular intense aerobic exercise.  So to that end, I went to the gym twice this weekend.  I ran on the treadmill Saturday (interspersed with brisk walking) and did the elliptical trainer yesterday.  Maybe that helped.

In addition to fearing the storied Lupron headaches, I thought I might be moody and have difficulty concentrating.  So far, I haven't found either to be the case.  Actually, my mood has been better: MM did a couple of things yesterday that normally annoy me and can cause me to snap at him.  I found myself more, not less, able to shrug them off.  I've had no trouble reading the non-fiction book I'm into at home, and at work my concentration has been fine.  It's actually better today than it's been lately, probably because I am working on things which interest me more.

Hmm.  I guess I have been pretty lucky.

[By the way, I just have to share this because it's so odd.  In addition to being used to treat endometriosis and for fertility treatments, not only is Lupron used to treat prostate cancer, it's also used to treat chronic adrenal disease in ferrets.  A little trivia courtesy of wikipedia.]

Tomorrow morning is my baseline appointment, and I've got my fingers crossed that all my lady parts are suppressed and "quiet" as they should be.  We are so close, I'd hate for anything to come up to delay us now.

Friday is our donor's baseline appointment.  I hope everything is suppressed on our donor's end, too.


Friday is also the day we have to pony up the dough for our cycle package fee and the donor's fee: the bulk of the cost of the cycle.  (I have already paid for my meds and the donor's meds, and I will have a couple of co-pays for my local monitoring, not to mention travel expenses.) 
 
It feels really strange to be paying St. Mungo's almost as much as I paid for my car (when it was new).  Especially when I know that, although the odds are in favor of this working, there are no guarantees.  I have seldom in my life spent this much money on anything in one fell swoop--only my car and my house come to mind, and I didn't pay the total cost up front for either of them--let alone something which is really just a CHANCE at the desired outcome.  A year of law school tuition cost less than our cycle package fee.

Pshew.  The things we do to try to become parents.  No wonder I've had a tight feeling in my chest for a week!

I figure six months from now I will either be thinking of this money as some of the best I've ever spent, or bitterly writing a check to pay off the last of the credit card balance for our failed cycle.  Only time will tell which it will be.