Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 retrospective

Most of this year has been consumed by our efforts to become parents, but in a good way this time.  It's hard not to be continually preoccupied when you are spending boatloads of money on treatment and then feeling physically subpar every day once it works.

I am so thankful to be ending 2011 (very) pregnant, despite the physical discomforts.  I know the arrival of our boys will bring challenges such as I can't even imagine at this point, and I can't wait!

I blogged this time last year about ten things I hoped would happen in 2011.  Fortunately, five of the ten came to pass, and I am well on my way toward working on a couple of the remaining five.  My marriage and other relationships are intact.  As usual, I didn't see as much of my sister and nephew as I'd hoped, but at least I had a legitimate reason (my pregnancy) for traveling less this year. I am still employed (and well received at work), and am well on my way to becoming a mother!

Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck with me since this blog (like much of my life) has become devoted to pregnancy more than anything else!  I wish good things for all of you in the upcoming year.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

31 weeks

(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)







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Total Weight Loss/Gain: I have now gained 18 lbs from what I weighed the morning of our embryo transfer.  (Really, I lost 9 lbs in the first trimester and have regained it plus 18. . . so a total gain of 27 lbs.)

Maternity Clothes: All maternity all the time now. Even some of my maternity shirts are getting snug.

Stretch marks: No new ones related to pregnancy.

Sleep: OK. Getting up to pee almost hourly all night.  Ugh.  I am pretty tired most of the time and have permanent bags/circles under my eyes (which I doubt will be going away any time soon).

Movement: Both twins are active most of the time now.  Twin A's movements continue to feel uncomfortable, as it usually feels like he is kneeing me in the bladder or behind my pubic bone.  He is very low down there.  Twin B's movements are often visible from the outside.  (Twin A's might be, too, but I can no longer see that part of my belly, LOL.)

Cravings/Aversions: Still some smell aversions, no real cravings.

Gender: We are (still) having two boys.

Symptoms: Same, no real changes. Daily Pri.los.ec has helped, but not cured, my heartburn. I've started having some pain in my right hip (probably from lying on my left side so much), and I have lots of pulling sensations across my abdomen.  I've had some intermittent sharp pains in my groin which my OB thinks are round ligament pains.

What I miss: Being able to take a nice, deep breath. Getting up from a seated position without having to use my arms to push myself up! Being able to see my feet when I look down, being able to put on socks without assistance or pain.

What I look forward to: Meeting the babies (when they're ready), being able to eat and breathe normally again post-delivery.

Moods: Good.

Milestones: None. Counting the days until 32 weeks!

Medical concerns: I am managing my gestational diabetes with a small dose of an oral medication at bedtime and diet.  So far, the babies appear to be healthy.  They had a growth scan today, and their estimated weights are 4 lb 4 oz (66th percentile) for Twin A and 4 lb 8 oz (73rd percentile) for Twin B.  (There is a margin of error of plus/minus 10 oz.)  Very good!

Sex?: Nah.

Misc: I guess the fact that I'm now carrying approximately 9 lbs of babies accounts for my increased discomfort and ever-increasing belly size.  ;-)

I am really tired these days (I know, I've been saying that throughout, but it's getting more pronounced) but am feeling so grateful to have gotten this far with no real problems.  I am in the home stretch!

I have started having more Braxton-Hicks contractions.  They are more likely to happen if my bladder gets full (which doesn't take much, considering Twin A usually has a knee or a shoulder resting on it), and they generally subside within less than a minute or two and don't happen more often than a couple of times an hour.  My OB said that was fine at today's appointment, and she checked my cervix, which was still long and closed.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

30 weeks

(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)







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Total Weight Loss/Gain: I have gained 12 lbs from what I weighed the morning of our embryo transfer.  (Really, I lost 9 lbs in the first trimester and have regained it plus 12. . . so a total gain of 21 lbs.)

Maternity Clothes: All maternity all the time now. Even some of my maternity shirts are getting snug.

Stretch marks: No new ones related to pregnancy.

Sleep: OK. Getting up to pee almost hourly all night.  Ugh.  I am pretty tired most of the time and have permanent bags/circles under my eyes (which I doubt will be going away any time soon).

Movement: Both twins are active most of the time now.  Twin A's movements continue to feel uncomfortable, as it usually feels like he is kneeing me in the bladder or behind my pubic bone.  He is very low down there.  Twin B's movements are often visible from the outside.  (Twin A's might be, too, but I can no longer see that part of my belly, LOL.)

Cravings/Aversions: Still some smell aversions, no real cravings.

Gender: We are (still) having two boys.

Symptoms: Same, no real changes. Daily Pri.los.ec has helped, but not cured, my heartburn. I've started having some pain in my right hip (probably from lying on my left side so much), and I have lots of pulling sensations across my abdomen.

What I miss: Being able to take a nice, deep breath. Getting up from a seated position without having to use my arms to push myself up! Being able to see my feet when I look down, being able to put on socks without assistance or pain.

What I look forward to: Meeting the babies (when they're ready), being able to eat and breathe normally again post-delivery.

Moods: Good.

Milestones: None. Counting the days until 32 weeks!

Medical concerns: I am managing my gestational diabetes with a small dose of an oral medication at bedtime and diet.  So far, the babies appear to be healthy.  They'll have their next growth scan on 12/28.

Sex?: Nah.

Misc:  Apart from making sure our car seats are properly installed and laundering the babies' clothes/blankets/sheets/etc., we believe that we have everything prepared for their arrival.  It was MM's goal to have this done by the end of November, so by his standards we are a little behind schedule. . . . but I think having all this done by 30 weeks is pretty darn good.  Especially considering that the boys won't actually be coming to our house for at least another 6-8 weeks.
 
The Belly continues to grow, drawing the attention of acquaintances and strangers alike.  I've had several "when is your due date again?" comments, implying that I *must* be getting close.  One of the partners I work for pointed at The Belly this week and laughed (I didn't take offense; he's single & childless, so what does he know?)

They say that with twins you measure about six weeks ahead of where you would be with a singleton pregnancy, so it makes sense. . . I do look "full term."  Yeah, I'm big.  It seems to me that The Belly has started to grow out to the sides a bit instead of just growing out/forward.

Here's a photo of The Belly taken a couple of days ago, so you can judge for yourself.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Yikes

I just realized that, if I deliver at 37 weeks exactly, the boys' arrival is only 55 days away.

As much as I can't wait to meet them (and to not be pregnant anymore), I don't feel ready.  AAAAAHHH!

(And MM keeps helpfully pointing out that many twins arrive even earlier than 37 weeks. . . . )

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

29 weeks

(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)








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Total Weight Loss/Gain: As of Monday's OB appointment, I have now gained 12 lbs from what I weighed the morning of my transfer.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now.  I'm still able to wear a few of my own shirts, but do wear maternity shirts most of the time.

Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet. Still using the Bella B's Tummy Honey Butter, and it does help my belly feel less itchy.

Sleep: OK. Getting up to pee 3-5 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested for at least part of the day.

Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. Twin A's movements feel weirder in a way than Twin B's because I mostly feel them inside--like right behind my pubic bone or close to my left hip bone--whereas Twin B's movements are just under the top of my belly and are even visible some of the time.

Cravings/Aversions: Lots of smell aversions still, no real cravings.

Gender: We are (still) having two boys.

Symptoms: Same, no real changes.  Daily Pri.los.ec has helped, but not cured, my heartburn.  I've been very fortunate to mostly avoid backaches and joint pain so far.

What I miss: Being able to take a nice, deep breath. Getting up from a seated position without having to use my arms to push myself up!  Being able to see my feet when I look down, LOL.

What I look forward to: Meeting the babies (when they're ready), being able to eat and breathe normally again post-delivery.

Moods: Generally good.

Milestones: None since last week's post.  Counting the days until 32 weeks!

Medical concerns: I have gestational diabetes and just started an oral medication for that, as my fasting (first-thing-in-the-morning) glucose levels were consistently higher than they should be. (My post-meal glucose levels are fine, now that I am following my prescribed diet.)  My blood pressure was fine at my last appointment (120/80). So far, the babies appear to be healthy.

Sex?: Yeah, MM feels weird about it and doesn't want to do it anymore. Oh well. Truth be told, I'm not too sad about that.

Misc:  My OB said I don't have to start twice-weekly NSTs until 34 weeks and that I would have had to do that even if I hadn't developed GD because I'm having twins.  (They only recommend earlier NSTs if there are known problems or if the mother's diabetes pre-dates pregnancy or is poorly controlled.)  She also said that she will write me a letter to cut back my hours at work, or to stop working entirely, whenever I feel it's time. . . . although she also said many women with twins work up until their due date, as long as they are feeling well and aren't having contractions, bleeding, leaking of fluid, etc.
 
My plan for now is to keep working as much as I can for as long as I can handle it physically and reevaluate if problems arise or when I start getting too exhausted to continue.  (Believe me, despite still working full days, I do get plenty of rest.  I compensate for working all day by spending most of every evening and a good part of the weekends on the couch or napping.)  Since my workload has been scaled back, I am no longer feeling overwhelmed. . . . and apart from occasional travel and depositions, there is a lot of my work which I can do from home if necessary.
 
The latest they will let me go will be 38 weeks, and that's assuming there is no reason to deliver me before then.  OB said they would consider delivering me at 37 weeks if I want and that, for now, I should just focus on making it to 32 weeks, and then to 36 weeks.  So I'm definitely in the home stretch.
 
Oh, and the boys will have their next growth scan on 12/28.  Can't wait to see how big they've gotten!

Friday, December 9, 2011

How do people do this?

After this morning's follow-up appointment with the diabetic educator, it sounds like I am going to have to start on an oral hypoglycemic to control my blood glucose levels.  (Long story short, my fasting levels are higher than they should be, regardless of my carb intake at bedtime.)

I don't mind the idea of taking medication in and of itself.  Even if I'm told at some point that I have to take insulin shots, that won't be the worst thing in the world.  Inconvenient and momentarily painful, sure, but not awful.

The thing that has me feeling really overwhelmed is what goes along with this development.  Because my GD will require medication to control, my perinatologist is recommending twice-weekly non-stress tests starting at 32 weeks.  These would be on top of the weekly OB appointments I will have by that time and the monthly growth scans.

So basically I am looking at having three doctor's appointments a week--two of which could last a couple of hours--starting in a few weeks.  Maybe even some weeks with a fourth appointment.  Sheesh.  That's a lot of doctors' appointments for someone who, prior to infertility and pregnancy, *maybe* went to the doctor for an annual physical and about once every two years for some type of illness.

I understand why the additional monitoring is recommended, and of course I want the babies to be watched closely so that prompt action can be taken if any complications develop.  But I am finding it hard to see how I am going to be able to continue working--even with a reduced workload--if I'm going to be at the doctor so often.  It's already been hard for me to keep up at work because I so often don't feel well physically.  (Examples: frequent heartburn & stomach upset; feeling tired most of the time; waking up with a headache every day this week.)

Oh well.  I am going to have to find a way to fit all this into my schedule because I have no alternative.  I just wonder how other people manage all this.  They must, right?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Baby dream

Despite having more dreams than usual since I've been pregnant, I haven't had a dream about our babies since early July (see this post).  But I had one last night, and as most dreams are, it was weird.

Our boys had arrived, and we were taking them to visit some family members.  Oddly, when we arrived at these (unidentified) extended family members' home, there was a little girl there who was almost 2 years old. . . . who we learned was our daughter.  (Wha??)  I guess she was meant to represent the child we would have had if my chemical pregnancy in August 2009 had continued to delivery?  Who knows.  This child looked nothing like I would've pictured our daughter looking like (actually, she looked like jennepper's oldest daughter), and I never figured out why she lived with these random family members and not with us.

As if that part weren't strange enough, as the visit with the relatives progressed, our boys were gradually getting a little older.  At one point, I put them down on the floor for "tummy time," and the next thing I knew, they were crawling around and wrestling with one another.  And then suddenly they didn't look like babies any more; they looked like two cute black Labradoodle puppies!

No one but MM and I seemed to notice that our babies were now puppies.  Noticing this prompted dream-MM to say "I think there must have been a mix-up with the embryos in the clinic's lab."  Everyone else just commented on how adorable the boys were with their black curly hair.

Dreams are odd.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

28 weeks

(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)



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Total Weight Loss/Gain: I have now gained 9 lbs from what I weighed the morning of my transfer.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear some of my own shirts (though not all of them, obviously), but do wear maternity shirts about half the time.

Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.  I've started applying this to my belly twice a day, not because I actually believe it will prevent stretch marks--I think whether or not one gets stretch marks is genetic, and I'm doomed since I already have 'em and my mom does, too--but because the skin on my belly has been getting dry and itchy lately.

Sleep: OK. Getting up to pee 2-4 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested for at least part of the day.

Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool.  Twin A's movements feel weirder in a way than Twin B's because I mostly feel them inside--like right behind my pubic bone or close to my left hip bone--whereas Twin B's movements are just under the top of my belly and are even visible some of the time.

Cravings/Aversions:  Lots of smell aversions still, no real cravings.

Gender: We are (still) having two boys.

Symptoms:  Same, no real changes (except that--TMI--my hemorrhoids have gotten worse).

What I miss: Being able to take a nice, deep breath.  Getting up from a seated position without having to use my arms to push myself up!
What I look forward to: Meeting the babies (when they're ready), being able to eat and breathe normally again post-delivery.

Moods: Generally good.

Milestones: 28 weeks is one of the milestones I've been looking forward to, as I know that the vast majority of babies born at this gestation will survive without lifelong health problems.  I'm still hoping to make it to at least 37 weeks with these guys (February 8), but my next milestone is 32 weeks.  Counting the days!
Medical concerns: I have gestational diabetes.  At this point, I am not on medication, just following my prescribed diet and checking my blood glucose levels four times a day.  My blood pressure was fine at my last appointment (132/74).  So far, the babies appear to be healthy.
Sex?: Yeah, MM feels weird about it and doesn't want to do it anymore.  Oh well.  We have plenty of years left to have sex after the babies are born (well, not *right* after, obviously).  Life is long.

Misc: As of this past weekend, we now have both our cribs.  (MM couldn't set up the nursery yet because--long story--he wasn't able to remove one piece of furniture from that room without additional help/tools.)  Actually, the only things we have to buy to be completely ready for the babies are two crib mattresses.  We have literally everything else we need (including more blankets and outfits than they can probably use).

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Spectacle

(Warning: pregnancy discussed in this post.  Click away if you don't want to read about that right now.)



I have reached a point in my pregnancy where I feel like a bit of a spectacle.  Any time I am in a public place, people inevitably stare at The Belly (which, at the rate it is growing, may need its own zip code soon).  Even people I work with, who see me nearly every day, seem to be unable to resist the urge to check it out.  A few have asked to touch it, too, and I have allowed them to do so.  (I don't mind people touching The Belly as long as they ask first.)

I don't mind the attention--I think it's natural and probably happens to most women--but it is a little strange.  I'm an average-looking gal who's spent most of her life overweight, so I'm not really accustomed to strangers scoping me out.

It's funny to me, too, how people like to comment on the size of The Belly.  For weeks and weeks, the comments were along the lines of "You're really not very big for twins."  Now they are more along the lines of "Wow, you're getting huge!"  (Although most people are careful to add "You're not gaining weight anywhere else, just your belly.")

Last week, I was riding the elevator in my building when a woman I didn't know asked when I was due.  When I said February, she looked shocked and disbelieving. . . . until I added "It's twins."  Then she got an "Oh, that explains it" look on her face.  LOL

Yesterday a coworker told me "It seems like you get bigger every time I see you!"  And honestly, I could not disagree with her.  She and I see one another about every other day, and the size of The Belly does seem to increase almost daily.

Even MM regularly uses the words "big" and "huge" to describe The Belly and exclaims over its growth.  He views these comments as compliments and does seem to be genuinely excited that I'm now very obviously pregnant.

In a way, I guess this is good preparation for when our babies arrive.  In the twin parenting books I've read, it's mentioned that going out in public with twins usually draws a lot of attention from strangers.  So my feeling like a bit of a spectacle likely won't end with the birth of our boys.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Post & dash

Just wanted to share a couple of quick items. . . . 

I went for a teaching appointment with the diabetic nurse educator at my perinatologists' group this morning.  Even though I am not entirely ignorant of what causes diabetes or dietary recommendations for its management, I figured it would be worthwhile to learn more.  After all, I haven't worked as a nurse in over ten years, so there were bound to be new recommendations, and I never took care of pregnant patients with diabetes when I was a nurse.

Interestingly, I learned that I'm not eating *enough* carbs.  Go figure.  (Two main reasons for this: since I've been pregnant, many carbs have aggravated my nausea and heartburn or left a bad taste in my mouth, and I've been trying to focus on eating more protein, because I know the babies need it for their growth and development.)  The nurse said I was the opposite of most of her patients in that she usually has to recommend that patients limit their carb intake.

I found the appointment quite helpful, as she gave me sample menus and literature with specific guidance about what I can and cannot eat and in what quantities.  (I'm not an imaginative meal planner, so I *love* sample menus.)  I have to go back in a week for her to review my food diary and blood sugar log so we can see how the dietary changes affect my blood glucose levels.

As I was leaving the perinatologists' office, I ran into a law school classmate of mine.  I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but I've run into two pregnant law school classmates at my OB's office since I've been pregnant.  So today's encounter is the third pregnant law school classmate sighting I've had.  (I tell ya, my law school classmates are a prolific group.)

Anywho, my classmate and I congratulated one another on our respective pregnancies.  And she remarked that I "don't look very big" for being almost seven months pregnant with twins.  Hmph.  I think it's the shirt I'm wearing today--a very blousy style which is not a maternity shirt--'cause I think I am looking quite large these days.

OK, gotta get back to work.