Today I am participating in a book tour for the book Life from Scratch. Although it is not strictly infertility-related, the book was written by the absolutely fabulous Melissa Ford, AKA Lollipop Goldstein of Stirrup Queens.
If you don't know Melissa, at least online, you should. She maintains a blog roll of thousands of IF blogs and is very kind and approachable, a real community builder.
You can buy her book in paperback here, or in Kindle edition here.
I am going to post, and answer three discussion questions about the book. Feel free to share your own answers in the comments section.
To continue to the next leg of this book tour, please visit the main list at Write Mind Open Heart.
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(Main character) Rachel's blog gets very popular when she wins a blogging award, and she starts averaging about one hundred thousand hits per day. Would you want your blog to become that popular, or would you prefer to stay small?
Hmm, this is a tough question. On the one hand, the topics about which I write are rather intimate, and I would hate to think that there are enough women actively struggling with IF to get 100,000 hits a day. (Can't imagine the subject matter of my blog would interest too many others who don't know me.)
On the other hand, it would be a really cool feeling to know that that many people liked your writing enough to visit your blog. And you could make money from your blog with that much traffic. Hey, money I could put into our treatment fund! :-)
While she is trying to move on from her divorce, Rachel cleans out The Box--a box of sentimental mementos from her marriage. Do you have a Box of your own? What do you (or would you) keep in it?
I do have such a box. Nowadays it is quite small. It contains small mementos from various relationships I had prior to meeting my husband MM, mostly cards and photos.
Why would I save these things, you might ask? I am saving the items this box on the off chance that I someday have a daughter who might be curious about her mom's pre-marriage life. Yes, weird and sad, I know.
At one time in my life, I saved these things for a different reason. I used to periodically take out some of the items to look at and reminisce. But since I have been married, the box is sealed with my BFF's name on it. This is so that, in the event of my untimely death, MM knows to deliver it to my BFF; I wouldn't want him to open it and think that it meant that I still loved any of my exes after I'm gone. That's not why I'm saving the stuff, but I'm not sure he'd understand that, especially if I were no longer around to explain.
Rachel talks about the kinship of marriage and how being on the "crazy ride" together is better than waiting outside in line. Do we rush to/stay in marriage because we think the alternative is too isolating to think about?
I think that this is true of some people. I happen to have about an equal number of friends who long for couplehood and who embrace the freedoms of being single. I certainly have had friends who have stayed in not-so-happy marriages for fear of being alone, but they are the minority in my circle.
"I am saving the items this box on the off chance that I someday have a daughter who might be curious about her mom's pre-marriage life."
ReplyDeleteI don't think that's sad or weird, because I have done something similar. I started a diary that I've kept since age 17. When I started writing it, it was so that MY future daughter would know that I understood what it was like to be a teenager. Unlike my own mom!
(Who's IQ has shot up in the intervening years.)
Good answers, S!
Here from the book tour. Interesting take on the Box. I never thought about saving those letters and mementos for future generations. And I love the idea of using your BFF as the courier. You're making me wish I had kept some of that stuff.
ReplyDeleteHere from the tour! I answered two out of the same three questions (posting tomorrow) and enjoyed reading your take on them.
ReplyDeleteI also found your answer the 2nd question interesting (I didn't answer that one). I have saved a lot of those same things (in part because I am a pack rat and have trouble throwing anything away). I like the idea that your BBF knows the purpose and that if you have a daughter someday, that she might want to look through them.
I also enjoyed Lori's comment about her journal for her daughter. Very cool.
Thanks again for sharing!
You're the only one I've read so far who said they might like the fame! haha.
ReplyDeleteAnd not sad and weird at all. I kept a lot of things for my future daughter. I always imagined I'd have a few kids, so one was bound to be a girl right? I have one son now (WONDERFUL), but that's all there is likely to be so oh well! :) I've made new connections with him.
Here from the book tour...
ReplyDeleteI also found your answer about The Box interesting. My MIL has been married 3x, and once she took out the wedding album from her first wedding for her daughters to see. That wedding was almost 20 years before her wedding to their father, so her daughters had never seen their mom look like that at that age, and they also got a kick out of seeing their grandparents, uncle, etc. They'd also been so curious about what the first husband looked like, since everyone else in the family had gotten rid of all of the pictures long ago.
I hope you have a daughter to share it with someday soon (not that the sharing would be soon, just the having the daughter part).
I loved all your answers, but the one question I hadn't seen yet, the one about Marriage really struck a cord with me. I think that having someone to share the journey is much better than not having someone.
ReplyDeleteand I love that you are saving your box o stuff for those children I know will come into your life. It's not weird or wrong, it's living in HOPE that is so important, during my IF years, HOPE is all I had..and that box of things that I wanted to "share"
Here from the tour, and I really liked what you had to say about "Life From Scratch", especially about The Box. I, too, have mementos from my past life, boyfriends, college. Particularly this stupid, pretentious journal from my trip to Europe after college. I read it a few years ago and it was cringeworthy.
ReplyDeleteI hope one day you can share all your memories with your daughter. What a lovely, hopeful thing that you are saving The Box for her.
Oh, I don't think it's weird and sad at all:
ReplyDelete"Why would I save these things, you might ask? I am saving the items this box on the off chance that I someday have a daughter who might be curious about her mom's pre-marriage life. Yes, weird and sad, I know."
I think it's actually very brilliant and hopeful.
Thank you so much for doing this.
I enjoyed your answers, & love your approach to "The Box." (My pre-dh box is in the closet of my old bedroom at my parents' house, I think.) So far as I've read, you're the only person to address the question about marriage.
ReplyDelete