Monday, July 26, 2010

Question for FB users

I have posted here often about my love/hate relationship with Fac.ebo.ok vis a vis people's pregnancy and child-related status updates.

Slightly off that topic, I have a question for those of you who are on the site.  What is the appropriate etiquette for dealing with a friend request from someone you know but do not like?

Twice I have faced the situation where a high school classmate of mine who I haven't seen since high school graduation (over 22 years ago) and with whom I was never friends sent me friend requests.  With the first person, I ignored TWO friend requests from her, and when she sent a third, I finally relented and confirmed her, thinking that I would just delete her later.  (Oddly enough, she initiated a "chat" with me not long after I finally accepted and through that chat, I learned that she and her husband have also struggled with infertility.  Actually, at this point, they have given up and are just living childless.)

Now I have the same dilemma with a second person.  Again, she has now sent me a second friend request even though I ignored the first one.  It has been in in-box limbo for a week or so.  This person is someone of whom I have not one positive memory from childhood.  In fact, we lived less than two blocks apart, and yet I've never been inside her house or vice versa, so that should tell you something about our "relationship" or lack thereof.

Thoughts?  My instincts tell me to just "ignore" again but am wondering if anyone else has faced a similar situation.

16 comments:

  1. I either continue to ignore the request, or I add the person as a friend but then hide him/her. Both have worked pretty well.

    http://tryingagian.blogspot.com/

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  2. I'm an avid ignorer. LOL In fact, I have ignored people that I do not have a problem with because they are friends with people I DO have a problem with, and I don't want Problem Person to find me via Non-Problem Person.

    That's how lame and mean I am. Yes, really.

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  3. Yup, just hit ignore. :) Quick and painless.

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  4. Ha! I totally have had that problem, too. I've tried the ignoring thing, but what I found that works really really well is just leaving the request pending. I did that for someone who bugged me three times, and I left it pending for about 3 months before I said no. I think she finally got the hint.

    That's the problem with FB. Some people just want to have this crazy list. I am only interested in those who truly interest me.

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  5. This is one of the top reasons I'm not on facebook, I wouldn't know how to handle it! As I'm currently *maybe* considering relenting and joinging :), I'm looking to see what others' responses are.

    And what if the requester is your MIL? ;)

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  6. Hit ignore, and then block. I do it all the time!

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  7. I'm not only an avid ignorer, I end up deleting people after a while...I just don't know those people anymore, you know? Sometimes it's good, but most of the time, dood, we are so different now, you know?

    Happy ICLW! (#78)

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  8. Yes, ignore sounds good! Also, I like FB but the chatting gets annoying. It's interesting to see what some people are up to but I don't want to chat with them...kwim? You can make yourself appear offline under options.

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  9. I usually just accept everyone since I don't put any personal info on FB. If you accept and then hide or remove them as a friend later they probably won't notice. I don't think they get a notification that you've "unfriended" them. Good luck!

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  10. I leave those requests pending and forget about them and hope they will, too!

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  11. I always just ignore the request... it's better that way:)

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  12. I friend everyone! It's funny - most of the people from my past of whom I had low expectations have turned out to be amazing. Some of the people I was excited to find again after many years turned out to be the opposite. Also, I'm nosy. Hee!

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  13. Thank you for reminding me why I'm not on FB! I could never handle this kind of weird internet etiquette. I'm bad enough at it in real life!

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  14. People request to be friends again, after you've already ignored them? OK, at that point all bets are off! Either they're so clueless they don't remember they've already friended you, or they are deliberately disregarding your wishes.

    Either way, don't worry too much about etiquette with these folks. If it was me I would just ignore again.

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  15. I would ignore it. My rule is if I don't hang out with people (outside of work) or actually had a positive outside of work relationship in past then I don't friend them.

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