Monday, July 19, 2010

Law of attraction

A Fac.ebo.ok friend of mine (former coworker with whom I was friendLY but never really friends) posted the following status update last week: "You don't attract what you want; you attract what you are.  That is the law of attraction."

I have come to the conclusion that the law of attraction *is* at work in my life vis a vis pregnancy. . . . just not in the way I want it to be.  Witness some evidence of this from just the past few days. . . .

  • Yet another lawyer-friend of mine announced her pregnancy via Fac.ebo.ok on Friday.  She is at least two years older than I am and already has a 6-year-old.
  • When I went to court Friday afternoon for a status hearing, the courtroom bailiff was 9 months pregnant.
  • We boarded our plane yesterday behind a visibly pregnant woman.
  • Saturday's fast food lunch was served to us by a visibly pregnant woman.
So you see, the Universe is sending pregnancy my way constantly.  They are just OTHER PEOPLE's pregnancies.  Not exactly what I had in mind. . . .


P.S.  I hate that hearing/reading other people's happy news--people who I consider friends--feels like a knife in my heart and a dismal reminder of my own failure rather than happiness for their good news.

P.P.S.  I find I am even less happy for pregnant women who already have at least one child.  Intellectually I realize that their fecundity has no impact on me, one way or another--and I often don't even know what they had to go through to achieve their pregnancies--but I can't stop the (momentary) childish thought of "Why does she get to have ANOTHER one when I don't even have one?!"

7 comments:

  1. I feel the same way. Like, "Come on, share the fertile wealth"! Babybook, I mean FB is full of constant reminders of my inablility to have a child AND that all of my girlfriends are starting to lap me by getting PG with their second child. It sucks....I hope SD was fun, it was crazy hot here this weekend!

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  2. Oh, I'm with you. I feel the same way--especially about women who already have kids. Seriously? You can't send me one of my own but you send this woman another when she has two? Thanks. Ugh! I hope you enjoyed your trip despite all of the pregnant lady sightings.

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  3. I hear ya. When one of our friends announced their second, my response was, "didn't your parents teach you you can't have seconds until everyone has firsts?" They laughed, but I was totally serious.

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  4. I used to feel the same way. Now I think I'm more or less numb to it. Maybe it's because we stopped ART, I'm not sure. Mostly I think I've just shut down a part of my emotions.
    I hate IF.

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  5. FB drives me batty. I hate seeing people gripe about their kids...their pregnancy...everything. I understand the stab In the heat. Huge hugs

    iclw #31

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  6. Here from ICLW...I completely agree with you about being jealous of women who are pregnant with a second. I just feel like shouting..."IT'S MY TURN!"

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