I haven't been posting much because I haven't had much to share. As with the last cycle I used the progesterone gel, I have had some unpleasant side effects. The worst one is that I have little-to-no sex drive, and when we do have intercourse, the gel makes me very dry (sorry, TMI) and sex uncomfortable. I have also been moody/irritable and had some off-and-on lower abdominal cramping. Plus I had a migraine headache off and on most of the last three days, though to be fair, I get a lot of headaches a lot of the time and can't be sure that this one was related to drug side effects.
Honestly, the first half of this two-week wait has gone by fast for me. I have been exceptionally busy at work and had quite a few things going on outside the office as well. Among them, I had to drive 250 miles round-trip to visit my CASA child on Saturday, and Sunday was MM's parents' 40th wedding anniversary in addition to being Fathers Day.
I was briefly tempted to buy some pregnancy tests at the dollar store and POAS every day starting the day after ovulation to test out my trigger. But I didn't do it. I'm glad I didn't. I think that might make me crazy.
I am due to POAS next Monday morning to see if I am pregnant. If I am, great, and my RE's office will schedule a blood test in a day or two. If I'm not, I get to stop the progesterone gel and wait for AF to arrive.
We are supposed to move on from Clomid to injectables this next cycle if I'm not pregnant. So we'll see.
I am feeling neither optimistic nor pessimistic about our chances this cycle. I know that I had two good-sized follices, and I know that MM and timed our intercourse perfectly and did everything that we could do. I also know that we have done everything that we could do for 15 prior cycles with not a single BFP to show for our efforts. Given that knowledge, it would be hard to be optimistic.
I continue to know a zillion-and-one people who have babies, and the at-least-once-a-week pregnancy announcements continue. There are only so many posts I can write about that. I've kinda gotten used to it at this point.
Thought about doing ICLW this month but knew I wouldn't be posting on anything interesting this week and didn't think I'd have time to read any new blogs. Maybe next month.
Hugs honey. I'm sorry to hear you sound so defeated, but I know that you have been through a lot. I'll always hope for the best for you - even when you don't feel like you can. But if you need anything, even just an ear to bitch to, all you need to do is ask.
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