- The Zo.fran is helping. I take a single dose around 7:30 each morning, and it gets me through until around 3:00 in the afternoon. I still have lots of food and smell aversions and have to eat small, frequent meals, but no more waves of nausea, and I am once again able to get in 2 liters of water a day. Whew.
- Yeah, (TMI) the Zo.fran did cause the expected constipation. A single dose of peri colace cleared things up.
- My weight has stabilized, and I'm no longer losing weight.
- On the down side, I think the Zo.fran is causing some mild headaches. I hadn't had a headache in weeks and have now had one each afternoon the past two days since I started taking Zo.fran. I can live with headaches more easily than I can with nausea, though; I'm used to them.
- My extreme fatigue is getting worse. I wake up tired--after nine hours of sleep--and am barely able to make it through the work day. (My billable hours are suffering.) In the evenings, I just lounge on the couch until I go to bed at 9:00, and the last two nights I've dozed off on the couch before 9:00. I am hoping this will improve, at least for a while, when I reach the second trimester in a few weeks.
- I've also started getting dizzy, especially if I stand up fast. From what I've read, it's due to changes in blood volume and blood pressure. Weird feeling.
- MM continues to be really excited about the babies, and he is doing his best to be a supportive husband. (Picking up whatever I can stomach for dinner, keeping up on all the household chores himself, walking and feeding the dog.)
- He has also started reading a few of the twin pregnancy books I bought, which is very cute. (He rarely reads books because he doesn't have the patience.) He now shares with me facts like "Did you know newborns have to eat at least every three hours?" and "This says that over half of twins are born prematurely." Um, yes, I did know that.
- Just taking one day at a time. So far this has been harder than I realized it would be.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Exhausted
Quick update. . . .
Monday, July 25, 2011
Second OB appointment
(Warning: another pregnancy-focused post here. As ever, I won't be offended if you choose not to read it.)
*********
After writing pretty regularly while we were cycling, my posting here has dropped off the past few weeks. In addition to having difficulty finding the time and energy to write, there are also times when I don't want to share my feelings here right now. Most of the time my feelings are whining complaints about my exhaustion and nausea (and related symptoms), and who wants to read about that?
In no way do I want to seem ungrateful, and I know that there are women reading this blog who would gladly endure what I'm living through if it meant a baby at the end. (And as a friend of mine pointed out, my symptoms are, in a way "self-inflicted.") That doesn't mean it's enjoyable or easy as I'm going through it day by day, hour by hour. Yes, I know it will be worth it at the end, but it's a little hard to see the forest for the trees when you feel like crap nearly all the time.
So forgive my less frequent posting and know that I continue to read all my regular blogs, even when I'm not always commenting. (It's difficult to comment from my smart phone, and that's about the only way I read blogs these days.) There are obviously also positive things happening for us, and I hope to get back to a better place physically and mentally where I feel up to writing about them some time soon.
For today, I did want to post an update on my second appointment with the OB this morning. We saw the actual doctor (as opposed to her very nice and competent nurse practitioner), so that was nice. She took a quick look at the Wonder Twins via ultrasound and told us she could see both heartbeats and that they are developing appropriately. (We were in a different room, with a different, less sensitive ultrasound machine set at a different angle this visit, and I wasn't really able to see much. MM was able to see them, though.)
I had lost a little over 6 pounds since my first visit two weeks ago. The OB isn't concerned about my weight loss--it's normal for many women in the first trimester, and it's not like I was underweight to begin with--but she did write me a prescription for Zo.fran to help with my nausea. I was originally reluctant to take ANY medications while pregnant, but she assured me that it's safe, and my nausea has gotten really, really bad, to the point where I am barely able to eat and am only able to drink sips of liquid at times during the day (and nowhere near the 2-3 liters they recommend for me).
She did tell me (in response to my question on the topic) that my pregnancy is considered "high risk" by virtue of the fact that I'm over 40, did IVF and am having twins. However, she is experienced with caring for patients with all three circumstances and doesn't feel I need to be seeing a perinatologist until/unless problems arise down the road.
So that's where we are. Looks like things are going fine so far.
*********
After writing pretty regularly while we were cycling, my posting here has dropped off the past few weeks. In addition to having difficulty finding the time and energy to write, there are also times when I don't want to share my feelings here right now. Most of the time my feelings are whining complaints about my exhaustion and nausea (and related symptoms), and who wants to read about that?
In no way do I want to seem ungrateful, and I know that there are women reading this blog who would gladly endure what I'm living through if it meant a baby at the end. (And as a friend of mine pointed out, my symptoms are, in a way "self-inflicted.") That doesn't mean it's enjoyable or easy as I'm going through it day by day, hour by hour. Yes, I know it will be worth it at the end, but it's a little hard to see the forest for the trees when you feel like crap nearly all the time.
So forgive my less frequent posting and know that I continue to read all my regular blogs, even when I'm not always commenting. (It's difficult to comment from my smart phone, and that's about the only way I read blogs these days.) There are obviously also positive things happening for us, and I hope to get back to a better place physically and mentally where I feel up to writing about them some time soon.
For today, I did want to post an update on my second appointment with the OB this morning. We saw the actual doctor (as opposed to her very nice and competent nurse practitioner), so that was nice. She took a quick look at the Wonder Twins via ultrasound and told us she could see both heartbeats and that they are developing appropriately. (We were in a different room, with a different, less sensitive ultrasound machine set at a different angle this visit, and I wasn't really able to see much. MM was able to see them, though.)
I had lost a little over 6 pounds since my first visit two weeks ago. The OB isn't concerned about my weight loss--it's normal for many women in the first trimester, and it's not like I was underweight to begin with--but she did write me a prescription for Zo.fran to help with my nausea. I was originally reluctant to take ANY medications while pregnant, but she assured me that it's safe, and my nausea has gotten really, really bad, to the point where I am barely able to eat and am only able to drink sips of liquid at times during the day (and nowhere near the 2-3 liters they recommend for me).
She did tell me (in response to my question on the topic) that my pregnancy is considered "high risk" by virtue of the fact that I'm over 40, did IVF and am having twins. However, she is experienced with caring for patients with all three circumstances and doesn't feel I need to be seeing a perinatologist until/unless problems arise down the road.
So that's where we are. Looks like things are going fine so far.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Advice on dealing with infertility
I enjoy reading Carolyn Hax's column in the Washington Post every day, but I really disagree with her advice to a letter writer today and wanted to share it here because I think it's a letter we can all relate to.
Dear Carolyn:
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years. I feel like my life is in a holding pattern. We’ll be starting IVF soon. Already tried some other high-tech procedures. I can’t plan a vacation or commit to anything long-term outside of work because “soon I might be pregnant.”
After living my life like this for two years, I am getting really tired of it. We really want a child. I’m 35, so I don’t feel like we can take a break. Any advice? This stinks. Oh — also, almost all of my friends are currently expecting their second children. And my brother and sister-in-law gave their child the name we’d always wanted to name ours. How to move past this? Or through it? Or something?
Infertile Myrtle
Live your life, plan your vacations (refundably), set your priorities, make commitments. This is what people do when they’re not going through IVF, right? And women do get pregnant unexpectedly all the time — or, they suddenly become the parents of an orphaned relative, or they have other unforeseeables happen, like needing surgery. Trajectories change, and people adjust their calendars accordingly.
So please chuck your holding pattern, along with the defeatist, underdog thinking, and live fully as someone who doesn’t have a child. Like absolutely everyone else, you don’t until you do.
I feel that Carolyn's response to Infertile Myrtle completely ignores the financial and logistical realities of her situation. Maybe Carolyn is unaware of the multiple daily injections and frequent doctors' visits required for IVF, not to mention the cost. I think that, knowing that you are going to be facing several weeks of shooting up hormones (with various unpleasant side effects) and going to the doctor's office for monitoring multiple times per week, would be antithetical to planning vacations and making other commitments.
I think I get the gist of what she's trying to say--don't put life on hold, because you can't know what the future will bring--but I still think her advice fails to take into account what the letter writer actually has to deal with on a daily basis when she's going through an IVF cycle.
Your thoughts?
Dear Carolyn:
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years. I feel like my life is in a holding pattern. We’ll be starting IVF soon. Already tried some other high-tech procedures. I can’t plan a vacation or commit to anything long-term outside of work because “soon I might be pregnant.”
After living my life like this for two years, I am getting really tired of it. We really want a child. I’m 35, so I don’t feel like we can take a break. Any advice? This stinks. Oh — also, almost all of my friends are currently expecting their second children. And my brother and sister-in-law gave their child the name we’d always wanted to name ours. How to move past this? Or through it? Or something?
Infertile Myrtle
Live your life, plan your vacations (refundably), set your priorities, make commitments. This is what people do when they’re not going through IVF, right? And women do get pregnant unexpectedly all the time — or, they suddenly become the parents of an orphaned relative, or they have other unforeseeables happen, like needing surgery. Trajectories change, and people adjust their calendars accordingly.
So please chuck your holding pattern, along with the defeatist, underdog thinking, and live fully as someone who doesn’t have a child. Like absolutely everyone else, you don’t until you do.
I feel that Carolyn's response to Infertile Myrtle completely ignores the financial and logistical realities of her situation. Maybe Carolyn is unaware of the multiple daily injections and frequent doctors' visits required for IVF, not to mention the cost. I think that, knowing that you are going to be facing several weeks of shooting up hormones (with various unpleasant side effects) and going to the doctor's office for monitoring multiple times per week, would be antithetical to planning vacations and making other commitments.
I think I get the gist of what she's trying to say--don't put life on hold, because you can't know what the future will bring--but I still think her advice fails to take into account what the letter writer actually has to deal with on a daily basis when she's going through an IVF cycle.
Your thoughts?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
8 weeks
(This post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. I'll write about something else sometime.)
Total Weight Loss/Gain: -4 lbs. (I'm counting my "starting weight" as what I weighed the morning before our embryo transfer, which is only 0.4 lbs less than what I weighed the morning of my first OB appointment.)
Maternity Clothes: No. My regular clothes are actually fitting more loosely than they were a few weeks ago, due to the weight I've lost.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: For the first time in my life, it takes me a little while to fall asleep, even though I go to bed EXHAUSTED every night. Once I'm out, I sleep soundly for 8-9 hours. (And I'd love an afternoon nap, too, but don't have time or opportunity for one most days.)
Movement: Nope, much too early.
Cravings/Aversions: No cravings, but I have many, many food aversions. I usually eat a pretty varied diet, but most things I normally would eat gross me out now, and basically anything with a scent or spice to it is out of the question. (Hot foods are worse, too, except some soups.) I have been subsisting on cheeses and yogurt, wheat bread, soups and potato chips for the most part. On a "good" day, I try to eat some lean meat and veggies or fruit.
Gender: Don't know yet, too early.
Symptoms: In addition to nausea which lasts most of the day (though no vomiting yet), I have heartburn after every (small) meal or snack and feel horribly bloated if I eat a normal-sized meal. I am tired nearly all the time. The only time of day I feel good is for the first half-hour or so after I wake up. (I also have mild off-and-on uterine cramps and sore breasts, but I've had those since starting progesterone.)
What I miss: Having energy. Being able to enjoy food. Feeling good.
What I look forward to: Our next ultrasound on July 25. Since the bleeding episode I had on July 13, two days after my last u/s, we've been a little worried about how Zan and Jayna (the Wonder Twins) are doing. It will be nice to get some reassurance.
Moods: I have been more emotional and irritable at times but mostly the same as usual, just EXHAUSTED.
Milestones: Hmm. None yet.
Medical concerns: Spotting/bleeding I had last week.
Sex?: Um, we've only "done the deed" once since our embryo transfer. MM is afraid to harm the pregnancy. ;-)
Total Weight Loss/Gain: -4 lbs. (I'm counting my "starting weight" as what I weighed the morning before our embryo transfer, which is only 0.4 lbs less than what I weighed the morning of my first OB appointment.)
Maternity Clothes: No. My regular clothes are actually fitting more loosely than they were a few weeks ago, due to the weight I've lost.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: For the first time in my life, it takes me a little while to fall asleep, even though I go to bed EXHAUSTED every night. Once I'm out, I sleep soundly for 8-9 hours. (And I'd love an afternoon nap, too, but don't have time or opportunity for one most days.)
Movement: Nope, much too early.
Cravings/Aversions: No cravings, but I have many, many food aversions. I usually eat a pretty varied diet, but most things I normally would eat gross me out now, and basically anything with a scent or spice to it is out of the question. (Hot foods are worse, too, except some soups.) I have been subsisting on cheeses and yogurt, wheat bread, soups and potato chips for the most part. On a "good" day, I try to eat some lean meat and veggies or fruit.
Gender: Don't know yet, too early.
Symptoms: In addition to nausea which lasts most of the day (though no vomiting yet), I have heartburn after every (small) meal or snack and feel horribly bloated if I eat a normal-sized meal. I am tired nearly all the time. The only time of day I feel good is for the first half-hour or so after I wake up. (I also have mild off-and-on uterine cramps and sore breasts, but I've had those since starting progesterone.)
What I miss: Having energy. Being able to enjoy food. Feeling good.
What I look forward to: Our next ultrasound on July 25. Since the bleeding episode I had on July 13, two days after my last u/s, we've been a little worried about how Zan and Jayna (the Wonder Twins) are doing. It will be nice to get some reassurance.
Moods: I have been more emotional and irritable at times but mostly the same as usual, just EXHAUSTED.
Milestones: Hmm. None yet.
Medical concerns: Spotting/bleeding I had last week.
Sex?: Um, we've only "done the deed" once since our embryo transfer. MM is afraid to harm the pregnancy. ;-)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
7 weeks, 1 day
Just a quick note to let you know I'm still alive.
I am struggling with most-of-the-day nausea, many food aversions, and heartburn, in addition to feeling exhausted much of the time, no matter how much I sleep. Our nurse practitioner told us this is par for the course with a twin pregnancy, and I am by no means complaining. . . . I knew this would/could be part of the deal.
It is a little hard to find time and energy to write here, though, when I have all I can do just to make it through each work day. (Actually, I am behind on a few things and will have to work most of Saturday to catch up.)
Had a little scare yesterday. In addition to the brown spotting that I've had off and on since Saturday, I was sitting at my desk mid-morning yesterday when I felt a "gush" of fluid. A quick trip to the ladies' room to check my panty liner revealed that this "gush" was bright red. Yikes. The nurse practitioner had told me to expect to continue to spot, but the amount and color freaked me out.
I called my OB's office and headed home to rest (and change my stained clothing). By the time the OB's nurse called me back about an hour after I called, I had had no more red bleeding and haven't had any more since, thank goodness. I didn't have any cramps either, which I guess is the other thing they look for if miscarriage is suspected. I spent most of yesterday on the couch and even took a 3-hour nap.
So MM and I are hoping that the Wonder Twins (as we have dubbed them) are doing OK in there. We are hopeful that yesterday's gush wasn't a sign of miscarriage but was just more bleeding from the same area the NP showed us on Monday's ultrasound. We have been told that bleeding is more common with twins, more common after IVF, and more common with DE.
My next OB appointment and ultrasound are on Monday, July 25, so we won't know for sure until then. However, considering that I've had no more bleeding or cramping and my pregnancy symptoms continue unabated, we are feeling mostly positive.
(By the way, in this instance, I'm not interested in hearing from readers who had similar symptoms and then miscarried. So if that was your experience, I'm sorry, and please don't leave that in the comments section. Thanks.)
That's me in a nutshell.
I am struggling with most-of-the-day nausea, many food aversions, and heartburn, in addition to feeling exhausted much of the time, no matter how much I sleep. Our nurse practitioner told us this is par for the course with a twin pregnancy, and I am by no means complaining. . . . I knew this would/could be part of the deal.
It is a little hard to find time and energy to write here, though, when I have all I can do just to make it through each work day. (Actually, I am behind on a few things and will have to work most of Saturday to catch up.)
Had a little scare yesterday. In addition to the brown spotting that I've had off and on since Saturday, I was sitting at my desk mid-morning yesterday when I felt a "gush" of fluid. A quick trip to the ladies' room to check my panty liner revealed that this "gush" was bright red. Yikes. The nurse practitioner had told me to expect to continue to spot, but the amount and color freaked me out.
I called my OB's office and headed home to rest (and change my stained clothing). By the time the OB's nurse called me back about an hour after I called, I had had no more red bleeding and haven't had any more since, thank goodness. I didn't have any cramps either, which I guess is the other thing they look for if miscarriage is suspected. I spent most of yesterday on the couch and even took a 3-hour nap.
So MM and I are hoping that the Wonder Twins (as we have dubbed them) are doing OK in there. We are hopeful that yesterday's gush wasn't a sign of miscarriage but was just more bleeding from the same area the NP showed us on Monday's ultrasound. We have been told that bleeding is more common with twins, more common after IVF, and more common with DE.
My next OB appointment and ultrasound are on Monday, July 25, so we won't know for sure until then. However, considering that I've had no more bleeding or cramping and my pregnancy symptoms continue unabated, we are feeling mostly positive.
(By the way, in this instance, I'm not interested in hearing from readers who had similar symptoms and then miscarried. So if that was your experience, I'm sorry, and please don't leave that in the comments section. Thanks.)
That's me in a nutshell.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Ultrasound update
This morning's ultrasound confirmed that I am pregnant. . . . with twins! We were able to see both embryos, their yolk sacs and their heartbeats. Twin A measured 6.6 mm, and Twin B measured 7.0 mm. We were also able to see the small area between the sacs where my spotting has been coming from. The nurse practitioner said it is a normal side effect of the development of the placentas and to expect to see more spotting before it stops entirely.
I am 6 weeks, 5 days pregnant today, and the embryos measured 6w4d and 6w5d respectively. The NP said that measurement by ultrasound is never exact and may be off by as many as 3-4 days at this stage and deemed their measurements "perfect."
So this explains why I have been so nauseated and exhausted--I have much higher hormone levels than I would with a singleton.
I am going to go back every two weeks for the next six weeks to ensure that things continue to progress normally. The NP said today's exam was very good, no indicators of any problems.
MM was thrilled, as are our parents. I am happy and excited and also a little freaked out. ;-)
I am 6 weeks, 5 days pregnant today, and the embryos measured 6w4d and 6w5d respectively. The NP said that measurement by ultrasound is never exact and may be off by as many as 3-4 days at this stage and deemed their measurements "perfect."
So this explains why I have been so nauseated and exhausted--I have much higher hormone levels than I would with a singleton.
I am going to go back every two weeks for the next six weeks to ensure that things continue to progress normally. The NP said today's exam was very good, no indicators of any problems.
MM was thrilled, as are our parents. I am happy and excited and also a little freaked out. ;-)
Big day
Thank you for all your comments and support on my last post. The spotting I wrote about had stopped by midday and hasn't returned. I called St. Mungo's at MM's request, and the on-call nurse said over three-fourths of their IVF patients have some kind of spotting in the first trimester and that they would not be concerned unless it was bright red bleeding saturating a pad an hour.
I continue to "feel pregnant": unusually tired, most-of-the-day nausea, food aversions. So I am hoping that all is well.
This morning is my first OB appointment and ultrasound. Despite my annoyance with my doctor's office, after I calmed down and regained my perspective, I concluded that I'd be likely to run into the same types of scheduling mistakes at any clinic, so I'm not going to find a new doctor. My two closest friends who've been pregnant in the past few years both used this practice and were very satisfied (and one of those friends had a lot of complications and got to know every doctor in the group).
I will post later today about the results of the ultrasound. I am mentally prepared for everything from an empty uterus or no heartbeats to two yolk sacs, fetal poles and heartbeats. We shall see.
I continue to "feel pregnant": unusually tired, most-of-the-day nausea, food aversions. So I am hoping that all is well.
This morning is my first OB appointment and ultrasound. Despite my annoyance with my doctor's office, after I calmed down and regained my perspective, I concluded that I'd be likely to run into the same types of scheduling mistakes at any clinic, so I'm not going to find a new doctor. My two closest friends who've been pregnant in the past few years both used this practice and were very satisfied (and one of those friends had a lot of complications and got to know every doctor in the group).
I will post later today about the results of the ultrasound. I am mentally prepared for everything from an empty uterus or no heartbeats to two yolk sacs, fetal poles and heartbeats. We shall see.
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