Sunday, August 18, 2013

Yeah, OK

I only have time for a very quick post, as I am at work on a Sunday and want to get out of here as quickly as possible and home to my boys.  (In case you were wondering why I am busily searching for another job. . . .)

I just wanted to say that I very much appreciate all of you who took the time to read, and comment on, my last post.  I think your points were very well taken.  Yes, guilt does seem to be an inherent part of motherhood, and yes, some of the questions asked may, in fact, be unanswerable.

I went over the questionnaire with MM, and he wasn't sure how to answer some of the questions either.  He made the observation that some of the questions seemed to be geared toward older children (like questions about whether others can understand our child's pronunciation) and guessed that they are not specifically aimed at AJ's age group.  Which makes sense, given that most parents (1) might not notice a speech delay until their child is a bit older and (2) might wait to have their child evaluated even if they noticed a delay.  Being able to say only 3-4 words at 18 months is probably not seen as a big problem by a lot of people.  (Just from firsthand experience, I know at least three friends whose children reached their 2nd birthdays saying as few words as AJ does now, and they waited until after that age before they even mentioned it to their respective pediatricians.)

So maybe I am not an awful mother.  I am probably being too hard on myself.  I appreciate your offering me your perspectives.


  1. Hope the perspective has eased your mind.

    No, GO HOME!

  2. I am just now reading your other post, as well as this one. Glad you were able to get some perspective.

  3. An awful mother wouldn't have even noticed, or wouldn't have bothered follow-up on what she noticed.

    Best of luck to AJ.

  4. You are FAR from an awful mother, believe me! It makes sense that the questionnaire is not geared to a specific age but crosses several years and developmental stages. You are doing the best you can and getting in to see a specialist so early demonstrates that. Be gentle with yourself, and go home!

  5. The questionnaire would get me thinking just the same way. Bless your heart, that sucks. But I think you're right, it's really too soon to worry. My older nephew talked right on time. The second one walked and talked later, after he was two. He had a little bit of a lisp that is gone now (he's 6 now), but really, I think he just had an older brother that knew what he wanted and did it or got it for him. So he didn't have to try hard to talk or walk. Maybe ya'll have a similar situation going on, so AJ doesn't have to strive as hard to make his needs known.

  6. So glad you are feeling better about it all. There will be plenty of time for mommy guilt in the future. ;) Hope things open up on the job front soon!

  7. My ped said that they hoped kids had about 5 words by 18 months, and that even if that goal wasn't met, they'd monitor and keep an eye on the child for a while.

    I think bringing it up with the pediatrician is definitely the right call, and you ARE doing a great job with the boys. Perhaps when there are twins, you can't help but compare them to each other a little? I have a singleton and there aren't lots of young children in my life otherwise, so I have no gauge as to how Henry is doing. So, we just do what we do. But when I pick him up from daycare, I notice myself trying to figure out where his peers are at to see if he's doing the same things.

    Or maybe I'm just a competitive bitch and it's a good thing I have one child instead of twins. ;)

    Also, I hope you get some good news on the job front soon.


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