I'm sure we've all heard people talk about the pregnancy glow that women get or the positive effects that pregnancy is supposed to have on your hair. I know I've actually seen a lot of women who look very beautiful pregnant.
Allow me to share with you that I am not one of these women.
These days when I look in the mirror, I see someone old and tired. My skin is drier and blotchier than usual, and the few dry lines I've developed over the years look more pronounced. This has the effect of making it seem that I have more wrinkles/lines now than I did a few months ago. My hair is flatter and duller. I have what seem to be permanent bags under my eyes, even after a 9-hour night of sleep, and no makeup can effectively cover them.
These observations don't even include the fact that the all-day nausea I've been battling often makes my face pale or sweaty. Attractive, right?
My husband, bless his heart, is honest to a fault (seriously, would a little white lie once in a while kill him?), and he has admitted when asked that I don't look good. He kindly says that it's probably temporary and obviously due to "what [I'm] going through" and that it's all for a good cause.
Prior to the past couple of months, I'd taken pride in the fact that I could pass for 35 instead of looking my age (40). Now I'd probably guess me closer to 45, definitely not under 40.
I am, in the main, not a particularly vain person, but I have to admit that even for me it's a little disheartening to look in the mirror each morning and see that I don't look good. It's hard to get "up" for the day when you're nauseated, tired and also look like crap.
I'm starting to try to adjust my thinking to this just being my "new normal." I mean, I can't imagine that I will miraculously look better once I give birth (and I can't imagine that the sleep deprivation which will accompany caring for two newborns will do wonders for my looks).
I had hoped to be one of those beautiful pregnant women, or to at least maintain my status quo. Yet another pregnancy myth debunked. Looks like I didn't get lucky there either.
But looking old and tired will seem a small price to pay when the babies are here, I know.