The best laid plans

This weekend, like many others, I had high hopes about the things I was going to accomplish during my sons' naptimes.  There are some things that HAVE TO get done every weekend, in addition to caring for the boys: a minimum amount of laundry, grocery shopping and food preparation, and some basic house cleaning/tidying.  Anything beyond these three categories is optional and aspirational most weeks, unless there is a specific errand or task that must be accomplished (example: this past weekend I needed to buy my godson a birthday gift).

I get up at 5:30 every weekday morning in order to get to work on time.  I go to bed by 9:00 or 9:30 most nights.  My sons go to bed between 7:30 and 7:45 most nights, so that means I generally have less than two hours to myself in the evenings.  During that relatively short window of time, I eat dinner, prepare things for the next day, take medications and vitamins, pay some attention to our dog, try to talk with my husband, and oh yes, try to relax.  I rarely get much accomplished on these weekday evenings, primarily because I am too tired, mentally and physically, after a full day of work followed by a few hours of caring for my sons.  I feel proud if I am able to read a chapter or two of a book (instead of simply mindlessly playing Words with Friends, checking Fac.ebo.ok and the like).

I am sure there must be mothers who get things done in the evenings after their children are in bed. . . else who is posting all the things I see on Pin.te.rest?  In fact, looking at the breakdown of how I spend that time, it seems that I would, and should, be able to do that.  I mean, I have two hours.  It doesn't take that long to do the things I do.

Apparently I am not one of these mothers, and I have (mostly) accepted this about myself.

Regardless, one of the ironies of my life over the last several months has been that I have had an ongoing yearning to get things accomplished and organize areas of my home and have lacked the time and opportunity to do so.  Here was my modest to-do list for this past weekend, which went uncompleted:

Things I'd hoped to during the boys' nap and couldn't because they wouldn't sleep:

Cut my fingernails  
(I ended up doing this before bed)
Brush Hunter 
(he was groomed last week and really needs to be brushed at least once a week.  probably more often.  this can't be delegated to MM because he is allergic to the dog.)
Finish organizing photos 
(all my digital photos since the boys' birth are/were simply in folders by the date they were uploaded from the photo card to the laptop, with no further organization)
Back up all photos to flickr 
(I am one computer failure away from losing some irreplaceable photos)
Steam mop kitchen floor 
(it's only been a week since I last did it, but the floor looks awful)
Box up all books in master bedroom and move to garage 
(all our books from three shelves in the living room were moved to our bedroom to prevent their being destroyed by the boys.  they need to be relocated in preparation for my dad and stepmom's visit this coming weekend.)
Straighten up 
(MM ended up doing this in every area but one kitchen counter--which always collects clutter--so yea!)
Spend half hour on cleaning garage 
(garage has not had a good cleaning out since before the boys were born, and it is long overdue for one)

Had my sons slept for their customary and expected two to two-and-a-half hours even one day, I would have easily completed this list, with time to spare.  As it was, the only task I completed was clearing out and semi-organizing all the outgrown baby clothes in our guest room/office. . . and that only happened because I stayed home and did on Saturday while MM took the boys to the park to play.  (I also vacuumed and did two loads of laundry and one load of dishes during that time.)

I guess this is common.  I have asked other toddler moms how they get things accomplished, and most have said that they don't, or that they do so by hiring childcare on the weekends.  I don't want to spend additional time away from my sons after being away from them during the day all week; I just want them to nap!

Lately our sons seem determined NOT to nap for us on the weekends (though they nap consistently for their nanny Monday through Thursday, go figure).  In addition to staying awake during "naptime" both Saturday and Sunday, they also (once again) removed all the clothes from their closet--they figured out a way to circumvent the method we'd devised for securing it--and yesterday actually tore apart two drawers of their I.kea dresser, destroying it.

They are definitely curious and in an exploration phase!

MM and I are concerned that they are not getting enough sleep--Saturday night they fell asleep in their high chairs during dinner--and would just like to get our afternoons back.  :-)

Random observations and occurrences

While the rest of the country is experiencing frigid temperatures, snow and record cold, we had a beautiful weekend here in Ph.oenix: sunny, with daytime highs in the upper 60s/low 70s.  The boys got to go to the park both afternoons.  It was great!

Our weekends are always constant go, go, go.  Our sons require a high level of supervision, as they are "into" everything, and weekends are pretty much the only time we have to get things like laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping done.  We also like to get the boys out of the house to play somewhere both days, and I like to be social when I can.

This weekend, MM and I had dinner out with one of my closest friends and her husband on Saturday night, and I had lunch with my BFF Sunday, followed by a little shopping.  I also had my hair cut and colored; not really "fun" but necessary, as my grays were abundant.

In addition to getting to do some fun and relaxing things, I also got a bunch of little projects done around the house.  Not anywhere NEAR all the things I need, or had hoped, to get done. . . but at least I made some progress, and that felt good.

Seeing a clearance sale at Stride Rite while the boys were playing at the mall play area Saturday morning, I decided to get the boys' feet measured, even though we had just measured them at Thanksgiving.  MJ's feet had grown a full size, and he now wears a 9.5W!  Does anyone else think that this is an exceptionally large shoe size for a boy who is not-quite-2-years-old?  AJ's feet had also grown, and he now wears a 7W.  So they both got new shoes.

MJ pooped in the bathtub last night.  First time that had happened.  Quick action on my part saved this from becoming a bigger mess than it could have been.  I guess we are lucky we had gotten through nearly two years of baths without this happening.

I have mentioned here before that AJ is starting to talk more.  One amusing thing about his increasing vocabulary is that in addition to saying words correctly, he also repeats some of MJ's cute and unique usages of language.  So AJ now also says "I see, I see" to call attention to things he notices and mispronounces the word "cheese."  It's pretty funny.  I guess AJ is learning from his brother as much as he is learning from the adults around him?

Every time MJ sees a vehicle larger than a 4-door sedan, he now says "Big car, big car."  This applies to trucks and vans also.  It's cute.  He is obsessed with vehicles of all types.

Traffic was brutal this morning, with everyone back at work or school and many winter visitors back in town.  There was also a huge accident on my usual route that backed things up for miles.  Ugh.

Happy Monday!

2013 Recap

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

Seriously consider divorce.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any new year's resolutions for 2013 and don't intend to make any for next year.  I've come to believe that, for me, all resolutions do is set me up to fail.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes.  My friend MH was murdered (I blogged about that here), and my ex-fiance died in April at age 36.

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

I need to exercise more so I can have more energy and better health

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 31--day my friend MH died; September 16--day I started my new job

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I changed jobs.  I'm not sure everyone would consider taking a nearly 20% pay cut an "achievement," but I'm counting it as one.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I'm not sure.  I feel like I am failing at *something* nearly every day. . . .

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I went through a two-month period this summer of almost-daily headaches that was just miserable, but otherwise, just the usual ailments and aches and pains.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

We bought a 2014 Honda Odyssey over the weekend.  It was our biggest purchase, and I'm hoping it will be our best.

12. Where did most of your money go?

To our nanny.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Getting out of my old private practice job in which I was miserable.

14. What song will always remind you of 2013?

What Does the Fox Say. 

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? about the same
– thinner or fatter?  about the same
– richer or poorer? about the same

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spent time with my sons and friends.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worked.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

At home with my family

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Tough to say, since I hardly watch any TV.  I do really like Property Brothers on HGTV when I get to watch it.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

Gone Girl, Ender's Game, The Fault in Our Stars, Wild, Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

I really like Lady Gaga.

22. What was your favorite film of the year?

Gravity.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

On my actual birthday, I had dinner out with MM and the boys.  I also had an adult night out with MM and friends the following Saturday.  I turned 42.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A vacation.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Um, functional?

26. What kept you sane?

Anti-depressants.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

I cannot do it all.  I shouldn't even try.

My Favorite Things -- Toddler Version

Building with blocks and then climbing the kitchen chairs

Bounce houses, big slides and throwing books everywhere

Taking the stacking toy and removing all the rings.

These are a few of my favorite things.

Watching big trucks and our show Paw Patrol

Eating mac and cheese and then throwing the bowl.

Screaming or laughing at Mom when she sings

These are a few of my favorite things.

Mom's pots and pans and her storage containers

Swing sets and play dough and toy cars called 'Mater

Cute cartoon owls that hoot, spreading their wings

These are a few of my favorite things.

Running and climbing and jumping on the bed

Putting cups, bowls and hats on top of my head

Bouncing up and down like my feet and legs have springs

These are a few of my favorite things.

When I don't get my way, when it's nap time,

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad.

Challenges

[WARNING:  If you are still in the trenches, you may want to skip this post.  Heavy on children, parenting, and observations about same.]

This weekend was a challenging one.  In addition to having to take the boys in for haircuts on Saturday morning--something which we do only every four months or so, because AJ cries from start to finish--the boys decided Saturday afternoon that they would no longer stay in their cribs to sleep.  MJ has been capable of climbing out of his crib for a few weeks but would only climb out if put in his crib for confinement during times other than nap or nighttime (example: MM will sometimes put MJ in his crib briefly while changing AJ's diaper).  Previously AJ has not been capable of climbing out of his crib, which is a little higher off the ground than his brother's, but he figured it out Saturday with his brother's assistance.

The novelty of freedom led to a later-than-usual and greatly abbreviated nap on Saturday, no nap on Sunday and falling asleep over two hours later than usual on Saturday night.  Last night the boys feel asleep almost immediately after being put to bed (on their mattresses on the floor--interim plan until their toddler beds arrive later this week). . . only to awake about an hour-and-a-half later with MJ screaming and crying inconsolably with what appeared to be an episode of night terrors.  It took over 40 minutes to get him calmed down and another 30+ minutes to get him back to bed.  Poor AJ was awakened by his brother's screaming and crying and had to be soothed back to sleep as well.

Needless to say, all this sleep disruption also led to more moodiness than usual (plus AJ is finally getting more teeth--poor guy has been stuck at four teeth since 15 months), although not quite as much of a decrease in energy as you might think.  They also didn't eat as well as usual.

In addition to not sleeping on Sunday afternoon, the boys used their naptime to figure out how to get into their closet.  (Prior to Sunday, they had been unable to open the fairly heavy sliding doors.)  While I was out running errands, apparently they managed to remove every single shirt from the rod and from its hanger, empty out almost every drawer of their dresser and take all the shoes and puzzles out before Dad realized what they were doing.  The silence didn't make him suspicious because he thought they were sleeping.  (Ha!)

So instead of spending my weekend putting up our Christmas tree, doing some holiday baking and cleaning house in preparation for my parents' upcoming visit, I spent my weekend wrangling twin toddlers, trying to persuade them to sleep, walking them around the neighborhood in their stroller when those attempts at persuasion failed, and taking them to the park (for the second time) in a vain attempt to make them tired enough to fall asleep.

At the same time that these changes are frustrating and a bit stressful for us, they are also signs of growth and development for our sons.  MJ and AJ were so proud of themselves for being able to "escape" their cribs, and it was actually pretty cute to hear them giggling together as they gleefully jumped on their crib mattresses on the floor on Saturday night. . . even though this was going on at 9:30 p.m., long after they should have been asleep.

AJ is talking more, and as a result, I am worrying less about his speech development.  They are both becoming more agile all the time and continually surprise us with the things they are able to do.  They are challenging but fun, too.

Miscellaneous

After over a month of not writing here, I feel like I have a lot to say and not a lot to say at the same time.  Life is busy and full, as usual.  The boys are doing well and are their usual busy, happy selves.  The things they do and say really crack me up sometimes.  A few examples. . .

• MJ has started saying "I see, I see" when he sees something in a book or in his environment.  He then waits for you to ask "What do you see?" before telling you what it is.
• AJ climbs like a monkey.  He prefers to climb UP slides, rather than sliding down them (and when he does slide down a slide, he does so on his belly rather than on his bottom).  One evening this week, I moved their rocking horse onto the kitchen table in an attempt to keep AJ from using it to climb up onto the TV stand (yes, they now do this regularly).  The result was that AJ used his high chair to climb onto the kitchen table and rode the rocking horse on top of the table--yikes!
• MJ lets you know very definitely when he wants to go outside and play.  He says, and signs, "shoes" when he wants to leave the house, and if he wants to go to the park he says "whee!" which is his word for the swings.
• AJ loves to build with blocks and is very meticulous.  If his tower is not constructed to his satisfaction, he will disassemble it and restart it a few times and eventually just knock it all down.

New job is good.  Nice people, less stress.  I have had a nagging cold for two weeks that I cannot seem to shake, so that's been a bummer; I actually had laryngitis for a while and mostly lost my voice for a few days around Thanksgiving.

Our holiday was good.  My MIL made (most of) the meal, and the boys ate some Thanksgiving fare for the first time.  My father and stepmother are coming a week from today to celebrate Christmas early with us.

Lately I have vacillated between feeling grateful for my life and feeling like I need a week or a month off to just hibernate by myself somewhere.  Both feelings are valid.  I think the latter feeling stems from this virus that won't go away more than anything else; I am just so tired all the time, even after a good, full night's sleep.

This weekend I am going to put up our Christmas tree, minus the breakable ornaments, and may even attempt some simple holiday baking with the boys.  TGIF!

Just living life

This past weekend I

• went out to dinner and to a play with a friend on Friday night after work 
• took the boys to their usual Saturday morning session at The Lit.tle Gym
• made a dent in sorting through my "denial piles" of paper clutter (some of which have been accumulating since I cleared out our former home office and then went on bed rest before the boys were born)
• had dinner out with MM and friends without our kids!
• took the boys and the dog to the park Sunday morning (we had beautiful weather this weekend; fall is a great time in Phoenix)
• Furminated and brushed Hunter, removing enough hair to knit a small afghan
• saw my inlaws
• had lunch out with MM while the boys napped (courtesy of my inlaws' babysitting)
• bought groceries, did the usual minimal household chores and meal prep, as well as seven loads of laundry (including folding and putting away)

All of the above in addition to the usual weekend agenda of playing with my sons and keeping them safe and happy. When I write it all out, it sounds like a lot!

Things generally are going well. The new job is working out: people are nice, and so far I have a lot less stress. Most importantly, I have my weekends back!  I'm also able to take a rapid transit commuter bus from a nearby park-and-ride to my building most days at no cost (paid by my employer as part of a pollution reduction plan), which is a nice way to save money and reduce the stress of commuting. I've been able to read five books on the ride to and from work so far. 

The paycut has been a bit of a struggle, but I knew it would be. I have cut back on some things and am challenging myself to find more places to save money. Things will ease a little in March when MM pays off his car and even more when I finish my first year on the job because I'll receive an automatic 5% pay increase and qualify for student loan repayment assistance that will amount to an additional $325 or so per month.  Until then, we just have to do without some non-necessities.

The boys are doing wonderfully well!  MJ is very chatty and probably has over 75-80 words now. He is like a parrot and will repeat most new words he hears.  AJ is starting to talk more, though still much less than his brother. He is very interested in puzzles and building things.  They are both very fun and happy most of the time, though we are definitely starting to see some toddler frustration and independence emerging.