Money concerns

Ours may be over soon!  I received this email recently, and wow.  With $4.7 million, we should be able to pay for all the fertility treatments we want.  Heck, I might even be willing to give IVF with my own eggs a go. . . . $4.7 million would allow me to quit my job, too.

ZENITH BANK PLC
Head Office Branch
Plot 84, Ajose Adeogun Street
Victoria Island
Lagos, Nigeria

Truth of the matter

This is to bring to your notice that a huge amount of money was deposited in this bank by the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria and His deputy in your name.The original amount was (US10.7M Dollars).Part of the money has been withdrawn last month by CBN GOVERNORleaving the balance of US4.700,000.00 Dollars (Four Million Seven Hundred Thousand United States dollars) behind.

Last week two staff of central bank of Nigeria came again to withdraw the balance of 4.700,000.00 Dollars but our bank refused.This bank, after much deliberation decided to source for the beneficiary of this funds whose name the money was deposited for claims.
Consequently,you are advised to indicate as a matter of urgency your interest to claim this fund by sending to us with immediate effect your Your Direct Telephone and fax Numbers and Scanned copy of your international passport or drivers license for proper identification.
The money will be paid to you by either wire transfer to your account,ATM card or Diplomatic means of payment. You are also advised as a matter of urgency to get back to me immediately for the release of this funds.

Note: Be informed that our charges for a wire transfer is $245 Dollars For a certified copy of an affidavit which will be attached to your payment file to avoid any hitch due to the fact that the funds has been tampered while our ATM card Delivery is 430 Dollars and the Diplomatic payment will cost 650 Dollars for a clearance certificate. the choice is yours.

The fees would have been deducted from your funds here in the bank , but for the fact that the account was tampered the management put the account on hold so that no one will have access to take out any money out of it unless the beneficiary come in person for security reasons,

Waiting for your urgent reply,
Dr.Godwin Emefiele
Foreign operations Manage
Zenith Bank Plc

_____________________________

Whew!  What a relief!  :-)

In all seriousness, though, I had a job interview today with the same firm that interviewed me a couple of months ago, and I'm feeling very positive about it.  I need a change.  And if they meet my salary demand, I would be getting a significant raise, which would go a long way toward paying for fertility treatment.

Textbook

Over the years, I have had several health care providers comment on the "textbook" length of my cycles.  Aside from a couple of years in my mid-20s when I was working overnight shifts, and had irregular periods my cycles have always averaged 27-28 days in length, ever since I started having periods at age 11.  Everything else about my periods, including the amount of flow, number of days of bleeding & spotting, and mild cramps, were also what would be expected and just about average.

The textbook pattern of my cycles gave me the false impression that, though the years were passing, my fertility was unaffected.  I (wrongly) figured that because my period reliably came on time month after month that when it was the right time for me to TTC, I would become pregnant readily.  (I had the same incorrect thoughts about my "normal" LH, FSH, and E2 values and antral follicle count.)

Even though I now know that my textbook cycles only created an illusion of fertility, I was still glad to see their return this month.  AF arrived on Monday, making my most recent cycle 27 days long.  Because my last two cycles were 25 and 22 days long, I had begun to fear that I was starting menopause.  Now I am reassured that all is well.

It may be a false reassurance, and I do have to wonder how useful regular cycles are when they never result in a lasting BFP, but for now, I'll take it.

(Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

(Originally this post had photos. In the interest of not having photos of myself on display indefinitely, I have removed them as of 5/29/2012.)
First known photo of MM and I together, taken in the conservatory of the Bellagio in Las Vegas, December 2007.

Friday Fill-ins

1. You do your thing; I do mine, and sometimes we do things together.

2. Seeing my nephew this evening is what's been on my mind on and off all day.

3. Remember when you thought you'd get pregnant at the drop of a hat?  And be too big to fit into the dress you bought for your beach wedding?  HAHAHA

4. Reading, traveling and keeping in touch with friends are three of my favorite obsessions.

5. During the last year I have waited and waited in vain for another BFP.  Alas, still not pregnant.

6. Seeing my golden boys at the end of each day puts a smile on my face.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to picking my sister and nephew up at the airport!  Tomorrow my plans include swimming with my nephew and dinner with family and BFF, and Sunday, I am going to get a pedicure with my sister.

Random spam, third installment

(All spam comments left in Chinese characters and translated with the help of babelfish.  This installment may be the last; blogger seems to be doing a better job of catching these.)

Let the mood aftertaste fermentation; The bad mood keeps in the writing to dissipate along with the time!

Everywhere with all one's heart, is the happy event; Takes a step steadfastly, is the level road.

To have the item of fool law is it possible that in the law: “in an organization's fool, is bigger than permanently is equal to 2/3.”  (Left on my other blog, on a post about weight loss.  Huh?)

You cannot transfigure ~~ but you be possible to unfold the smiling face.

In a mood

(Ranting ahead.  You've been warned.)

I'm not sure what brought this on, but for some reason, I am in a really angry mood today about being infertile.  I just want to pimp-slap every fertile I know. . . . like the high school classmate who has four children with her much-older husband and told me "____ just has to drop his pants on the bed and I'm pregnant."  She is 40, and her youngest is a year old.

Or the former classmate who had a baby a little over three years (when she was unmarried and he was adopted by a couple) who recently announced that she was pregnant and due almost exactly nine months after her recent wedding date.  My, aren't you the fertile one!  Pregnant on the honeymoon.

Or the perfectly nice law school classmate of mine who felt the need to inform us all (via Fac.ebo.ok) of the results of her 20-week ultrasound today with her second.  Her daughter is 15 months old, and her son is due in January.  How wonderful for you, one of each!  Now your family is complete.  (Side note: for those of you who may be thinking "You don't know what she went through to achieve her pregnancy, yeah, I do.  For #1, she used a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor and it took "a long time," i.e., several months.  #2 "just happened" but was a "welcome surprise.")

Honestly, I know intellectually that none of this is directed at me.  I know that these women cannot help being fertile, and in fact, I have no reason to believe that they are (or will be) anything but terrific, loving, caring mothers.  I mean, if I'm going to be outraged, wouldn't it make more sense to be angry at people who beat or neglect their children?  Or who carelessly fail to supervise them so that they drown in a backyard pool?  Both these scenarios are frequently on the news where I live.

Abusive or neglectful parents *do* outrage me, but on a totally different level.  I am angry at these other women because I can relate to them and because THEY HAVE WHAT I DON'T, what I may never have.   (I can't relate to the abusive or neglectful parents.) Even if I am ultimately successful in conceiving a child, carrying to term, and delivering a healthy baby, I will still never know what these women have. . . . because getting to that point will have been so long and hard for me.  Even if we become parents via DE IVF, I will never have the feeling that comes from just getting pregnant from having sex with my husband. 

Actually, to be more precise, I am not really angry at these women, or at pregnant or fertile women in general.  I am envious of them and am angry at The Universe, G-D, Fate, or whatever entity has decided that I cannot be part of their club.

EDITED TO ADD:   I categorically reject the notion that there is some "meaning" in my/our going through this.  Having married at age 37, I would have been more-than-usually appreciative of the opportunity to finally be a mother even if it had come easily.  While I don't doubt that I have learned some lessons from IF--because any intelligent, introspective person learns things from adversity--I in no way think this experience has been "necessary" to my growth as a human being.  It's so entirely unfair.

(Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

(Originally this post had photos. In the interest of not having photos of my sons and myself on display indefinitely, I have removed them as of 5/29/2012.)
Me, age one.  I still have the outfit and shoes.  Wonder if I will ever have a little girl to wear them?