#MicroblogMondays 57

• The day after I wrote the last post, MM and I had a long talk about our plans to list our house and buy the larger house we'd found and decided that now just isn't the right time, for a number of logistical and financial reasons. So that plan is on hold for at least another 18 months.
• We were both a little bummed to miss out on the house we liked, but in the short term, I'm really glad to not have to deal with the stress of sprucing up our current house, keeping it showing-ready indefinitely and then moving. Ugh.
• MM had a cold over the weekend, and I woke up with congestion and a scratchy throat this morning. Darn him! I've had a surprising stretch of no illnesses, too: nothing since the GI virus the boys shared with me in early July.
• I am proud to report that I have walked at least 30 minutes, between 1.75 and 2 miles, at least 4 mornings every week for the past 3 weeks. Probably doesn't sound like much to anyone who exercises regularly, but I have been out of the habit of regular exercise since I got pregnant with my sons, so this is a big deal to me.

More space

[THIS POST IS COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO INFERTILITY. CHILDREN BRIEFLY MENTIONED.]

MM and I have talked often about wanting to get a larger house when the boys are a little older. Our current house, where we have lived over seven years, since before we were married, is more than adequate to our needs at present -- 1500 sq ft, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms -- but the bedrooms are pretty small. Two toddler beds fit in one just fine, but two twin beds would be a tight fit.

For a while we have figured we would wait to make this move for a few reasons. First, it's not a pressing concern. Second, we currently pay almost the equivalent of our mortgage for daycare costs for our two children, and that outlay of cash will be less once the boys start kindergarten in a couple of years. (We will still have to pay for some after-school care, but that won't cost us even half as much.) Third, although the housing market in our area has been recovering, we weren't sure if it had recovered sufficiently to make selling our home a realistic possibility that wouldn't involve a net loss.

However, this past Saturday Mike stumbled across a house in our neighborhood having an open house that "ticked all our boxes." (In addition to our stated desire for more space, we have some specific and somewhat peculiar things we are looking for in our next house; the good thing is that we are in agreement about them.) And not only was it everything we are looking for, it is priced significantly under what one might expect for a house of that size in its location.

So now since Saturday we have crunched some numbers and done a lot of talking and planning, met with a realtor, been pre-approved for a home loan, and decided to list our current house in the hope of buying the other, larger home. It is exciting but also more than a little daunting when I think of all the things we will have to accomplish over the next two weeks just to get the house listed. . . let alone thinking beyond that to showings, a potential move, etc.

I am not sure if this is all going to come together -- whether we will sell our current house, whether the seller of the other house will accept our offer, etc. -- but I guess time will tell. I am trying not to envision myself living in the bigger house, just in case things don't work out.

In the meantime, the length of my "to do" list has tripled. And I am asking myself why I didn't wait for Bubbe's arrival in two-and-a-half weeks to take this on. (She would surely help me out with more than half this stuff if she were here.)

"Childless" or "Childfree" = Insult?

I wondered if any of you read this article with excerpts from an interview with actress Kim Cattrall where she talks about being a parent because she mentors young actors/actresses and has nieces and nephews to whom she is close.

I have not had time to listen to the full interview (which is 58 minutes long), and there are parts of what she says with which I don't disagree -- like the fact that you can express your maternal side without giving birth and that our society devalues women who have not given birth to children -- but I do take exception with her assertion that she is a "parent" because she loves, nurtures and mentors young people. To me, parenthood includes those things, to be sure, but it includes more, and is more all-encompassing than being a loving aunt or mentor.

Before I had children of my own, I had a nephew whom I adored (still have, LOL), and I was a mentor for children in the foster care system. I was also an "auntie" to the children of a few close friends.

None of those experiences was the same as being a mother to my own children. Not only do I love my sons more than those other children (apologies to my sister and friends if they're reading this), I am responsible for their care and upbringing in a way that I was never responsible for those children's.

I completely agree that biology has little to do with parenting. Rather, it's the nurturing and bonding over years that really make someone a mother or father.

But I don't think you can say you're a parent simply because you are a nurturing, loving person who shares those qualities with others in her sphere.

What do you think?

#Microblog Mondays 55

How I'm doing, in haiku. . .


I finally walked
Four mornings last week pre-work
Exercise should help

Need to get away
But I'm too busy at my job
Answer? Suck it up

Often so fatigued
No matter how much I've slept
Doctor says I'm fine

[beginning first week of October]
Boys playing tee ball
(AJ said no more soccer)
No free Saturdays

Mom is coming soon
She will stay through Easter time
Yea for Bubbe!