(Today's post is all about pregnancy. Feel free to click away if you don't want to read it. Hope to see you again soon.)
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Total Weight Loss/Gain: As of yesterday's OB appointment, I am up 9 lbs from the morning of our embryo transfer. I think that's a little skewed because I had an afternoon appointment when I usually go in the morning, but I'll take it.
I saw an OB in the practice who had not seen me before, and ironically, he said "Wow, you've done a great job of controlling your weight gain; what's your secret?" I said "I haven't been able to eat much" and went on to explain my 16 weeks of day-long nausea and 21 weeks of heartburn. He seemed to think that the fact that I haven't gained much weight so far is a good thing, which was a little strange to hear. (He did add that, since I'm having twins, I should probably be trying to gain weight now.)
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear a few of my own shirts, but not many. I am finding my maternity shirts more comfortable, but MM observed that most of them may not fit for long either.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. In addition to getting up 2-4 times a night to pee, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to fall asleep and find myself awakening briefly multiple times a night simply because I'm uncomfortable. I'm fortunate in that I'm generally able to fall back to sleep within a minute or two, and I hope that trend continues.
Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. Both babies get the hiccups regularly, which is an odd sensation. The babies have grown enough that I not only feel their kicks and hiccups but also can feel them moving around. (With Twin B, I can see and feel his movement from outside even.)
Cravings/Aversions: Lots of smells still turn my stomach, but other than that, no real aversions. No cravings either.
Gender: We are (still) having two boys.
Symptoms: All the usual stuff, nothing new to mention.
What I miss: Sleeping through the night without interruption (it'll be a while before THAT makes a return to my life), having a normal energy level, eating what I want.
What I look forward to: Meeting these babies (but I can wait until they're ready to come out). Having the nursery set up.
Moods: Generally good. I have felt a little down at times due to the difficulty of feeling subpar most of the time, but those moods are short-lived. "Eyes on the prize"
Milestones: MM has now felt Twin A's kicks as well as Twin B's. Though it's pretty funny how a lot of the time they kick right after he's removed his hand from my belly, almost as though they know he's trying to feel them and want to avoid being detected.
Medical concerns: For the babies, none so far, thank goodness. I did test positive for gestational diabetes, as I wrote about in my last post.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it. Now it's to the point where he'd just rather not to do it. Oh well.
Misc: We are picking up our cribs this weekend, and the last of our nursery decorations arrived this week. So we will be setting up the nursery this weekend. MM especially is looking forward to this. (He wanted to get it done by the end of November, so we are a little "behind schedule," but not terribly so.)
Oh, and after "not looking very pregnant" for a long time, the growth of The Belly has now taken off. (I'm a little scared to think how it'll look in another couple of months.) I had MM take some photos this past weekend and will post them when I have the motivation. (You know, like those shower photos I promised a few weeks ago. . . . )
EDITED TO ADD: I have a (very nice) coworker whose wife gave birth to their second child less than two weeks ago. I ran into him in the hall today and asked him "So am I bigger now than your wife was the day she delivered?" He gave The Belly a quick once-over and said "Yeah. . . but she kept her weight down and only gained 24 pounds." LOL
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Gestational diabetes
I got a call from my OB's office on Wednesday afternoon letting me know that I tested positive for gestational diabetes. I wasn't particularly surprised, given all my risk factors, but was a little bummed out nonetheless.
For now, all I've been asked to do is check my blood sugar four times a day and keep a log. I will be given further instructions on dietary recommendations this week (although, having been a nurse, I am already pretty familiar with what they are likely to be).
It's not so much the fact of having GD that bothers me, although I will admit I don't love pricking my finger to check my blood sugar four times a day. (I don't think I'll mind the dietary restrictions much because I haven't been able to tolerate most simple carbs since I've been pregnant anyway, have been eating frequent small meals, and already eat protein at every meal.) I'm more bothered by the worry that this is just the beginning.
I know I have been extremely fortunate to have no pregnancy complications up to this point, despite being at increased risk for a number of things. I guess I just think that maybe this is just the first thing that's going to go wrong.
At this point in my pregnancy, my biggest concern is preterm delivery (and, really, anything else which might lead to a bad outcome for the babies, but that tops the list). Having GD is yet another risk factor for developing preeclampsia, something which I am predisposed to by family history (both my mother and sister had pregnancy-induced hypertension, though not fully developed preeclampsia), and by being overweight, carrying twins, conceiving through DE, and being in my first pregnancy.
Unlike my husband, I am not a worrier by nature, but I can't help thinking that, even though preeclampsia is relatively uncommon, with all these risk factors, I will be extremely lucky not to develop it. I only worry mildly about the risks to my own health; my primary concern is premature delivery and all its attendant effects on the babies.
I suppose it doesn't do much good to dwell on what might happen in the future when it is largely out of my control. All I can do is continue following my doctors' instructions and hope for the best.
On a wholly unrelated note. . . . today is our third wedding anniversary. I can honestly say that marrying MM was one of the best decisions I've made. Despite being in the infertility sh1t for most of our marriage, our relationship is stronger than ever, and we are happy.
For now, all I've been asked to do is check my blood sugar four times a day and keep a log. I will be given further instructions on dietary recommendations this week (although, having been a nurse, I am already pretty familiar with what they are likely to be).
It's not so much the fact of having GD that bothers me, although I will admit I don't love pricking my finger to check my blood sugar four times a day. (I don't think I'll mind the dietary restrictions much because I haven't been able to tolerate most simple carbs since I've been pregnant anyway, have been eating frequent small meals, and already eat protein at every meal.) I'm more bothered by the worry that this is just the beginning.
I know I have been extremely fortunate to have no pregnancy complications up to this point, despite being at increased risk for a number of things. I guess I just think that maybe this is just the first thing that's going to go wrong.
At this point in my pregnancy, my biggest concern is preterm delivery (and, really, anything else which might lead to a bad outcome for the babies, but that tops the list). Having GD is yet another risk factor for developing preeclampsia, something which I am predisposed to by family history (both my mother and sister had pregnancy-induced hypertension, though not fully developed preeclampsia), and by being overweight, carrying twins, conceiving through DE, and being in my first pregnancy.
Unlike my husband, I am not a worrier by nature, but I can't help thinking that, even though preeclampsia is relatively uncommon, with all these risk factors, I will be extremely lucky not to develop it. I only worry mildly about the risks to my own health; my primary concern is premature delivery and all its attendant effects on the babies.
I suppose it doesn't do much good to dwell on what might happen in the future when it is largely out of my control. All I can do is continue following my doctors' instructions and hope for the best.
On a wholly unrelated note. . . . today is our third wedding anniversary. I can honestly say that marrying MM was one of the best decisions I've made. Despite being in the infertility sh1t for most of our marriage, our relationship is stronger than ever, and we are happy.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
26 weeks
(Today's post is all about pregnancy. Feel free to click away if you don't want to read it. Hope to see you again soon.)
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Total Weight Loss/Gain: I am still at a net gain of 4 lbs from what I weighed the morning of my transfer.
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though fewer and fewer of them). I am going to have to start wearing maternity shirts soon, as my belly is getting pretty big, and I'm running out of options in my closet.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. In addition to getting up 2-4 times a night to pee, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to fall asleep and find myself awakening briefly multiple times a night simply because I'm uncomfortable. I'm fortunate in that I'm generally able to fall back to sleep within a minute or two, and I hope that trend continues.
Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. Both babies get the hiccups regularly, which is an odd sensation.
Cravings/Aversions: Lots of smells still turn my stomach, but other than that, no real aversions. No cravings either.
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: All the usual stuff, nothing new to mention. With daily Pri.lo.sec, my heartburn is less "burn" and more of just the "lump in the esophagus" feeling I've mentioned before.
What I miss: Sleeping through the night without interruption (it'll be a while before THAT makes a return to my life), having a normal energy level, eating what I want.
What I look forward to: Meeting these babies (but I can wait until they're ready to come out).
Moods: Generally good, although I have been a little irritable with MM a few times since last week's post. I think this was due more to a combination of feeling crappy and the usual irritations over household stuff (like the thermostat) than to hormones.
Milestones: MM was finally able to feel kicking this past week! Twin A's kicks are still hard to feel on the outside, even for me, because of the anterior placement of his placenta, but MM felt Twin B's kicks twice. (They are closer to the surface and higher on my belly, where it's easier to place a hand.) Very cool.
Medical concerns: I had my growth scan yesterday afternoon, and both boys are doing fine. They estimated their weights at 2 lb 7 oz (Twin A) and 2 lb 3 oz (Twin B), plus or minus 6 oz. All their measurements were appropriate and on-target.
I also did the three-hour glucose tolerance test on Monday (NOT a fun experience), and I have yet to hear the results.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it, and the yeast infection I had meant several days of abstinence anyway.
Misc: This development isn't new this week, but I keep forgetting to mention that my belly button is now only about one-third its usual depth. I imagine it'll disappear entirely at some point as my belly continues to grow.
Now that my shower has passed, I ordered a bunch of essentials we still needed from ama.zon (their prices are SO much lower than Tar.get or BRU!), so nearly every day a box with baby supplies arrives at our house. It's been kind of fun! :-)
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Total Weight Loss/Gain: I am still at a net gain of 4 lbs from what I weighed the morning of my transfer.
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though fewer and fewer of them). I am going to have to start wearing maternity shirts soon, as my belly is getting pretty big, and I'm running out of options in my closet.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. In addition to getting up 2-4 times a night to pee, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to fall asleep and find myself awakening briefly multiple times a night simply because I'm uncomfortable. I'm fortunate in that I'm generally able to fall back to sleep within a minute or two, and I hope that trend continues.
Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. Both babies get the hiccups regularly, which is an odd sensation.
Cravings/Aversions: Lots of smells still turn my stomach, but other than that, no real aversions. No cravings either.
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: All the usual stuff, nothing new to mention. With daily Pri.lo.sec, my heartburn is less "burn" and more of just the "lump in the esophagus" feeling I've mentioned before.
What I miss: Sleeping through the night without interruption (it'll be a while before THAT makes a return to my life), having a normal energy level, eating what I want.
What I look forward to: Meeting these babies (but I can wait until they're ready to come out).
Moods: Generally good, although I have been a little irritable with MM a few times since last week's post. I think this was due more to a combination of feeling crappy and the usual irritations over household stuff (like the thermostat) than to hormones.
Milestones: MM was finally able to feel kicking this past week! Twin A's kicks are still hard to feel on the outside, even for me, because of the anterior placement of his placenta, but MM felt Twin B's kicks twice. (They are closer to the surface and higher on my belly, where it's easier to place a hand.) Very cool.
Medical concerns: I had my growth scan yesterday afternoon, and both boys are doing fine. They estimated their weights at 2 lb 7 oz (Twin A) and 2 lb 3 oz (Twin B), plus or minus 6 oz. All their measurements were appropriate and on-target.
I also did the three-hour glucose tolerance test on Monday (NOT a fun experience), and I have yet to hear the results.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it, and the yeast infection I had meant several days of abstinence anyway.
Misc: This development isn't new this week, but I keep forgetting to mention that my belly button is now only about one-third its usual depth. I imagine it'll disappear entirely at some point as my belly continues to grow.
Now that my shower has passed, I ordered a bunch of essentials we still needed from ama.zon (their prices are SO much lower than Tar.get or BRU!), so nearly every day a box with baby supplies arrives at our house. It's been kind of fun! :-)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Ah, the irony
I believe I have mentioned my lifelong struggles with my weight on this blog. Apart from infertility, being overweight is the only health problem I've had so far. (I've been very lucky in that regard.)
I do come by this problem honestly. First, genetics: nearly everyone in my mother's family is either overweight or obese. Second, habits: my default is to eat a "typical American diet," and since childhood I've preferred to devote more time to intellectual pursuits like reading than to physical activity. There have been brief periods when I've established a habit of daily exercise, but it's a continual struggle for me, definitely not something which comes naturally. (In contrast to my husband, who feels antsy and odd if he skips more than one day at the gym.)
As an adult, my weight has fluctuated between 150 and 230+ lbs, depending on the intensity (or lack) of my efforts to control it. Most of the time since college I've weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 195-210; that seems to be a weight range my body likes for some reason.
Many is the time I've lamented my trouble losing weight. I have often cursed my genes--which I can't control and are therefore easier to blame than my behavior--for predisposing me to weight gain. Many is the time I've envied others who are able to maintain a healthy weight, some of them seemingly effortlessly.
So given that my difficulty maintaining a healthy weight has been the bane of my existence since I was an adolescent, I have found it more than a little ironic that I have had so much trouble gaining weight since I've been pregnant. The one time in my life when it would be OK--indeed, encouraged--for me to gain weight, and I haven't been able to do it.
I've been concerned that by not gaining enough weight, I'm not helping our babies have the best possible outcome. A popular and well-regarded book on multiple pregnancy recommends gaining 20 lbs by 20 weeks for optimal outcomes, and I've obviously fallen far short of that goal.
My OB has not been concerned about my lack of weight gain thus far, and I have discussed it with her at nearly every appointment. She just says that the babies will take what they need and that there is no cause for concern as long as they are growing.
At my anatomy scan at around 20 weeks, both babies' estimated weights were slightly ahead of what would be expected for my dates, and that was reassuring. However, their growth rates and weights haven't been checked since then. I have a growth scan this afternoon, and I hope that it shows that they are both growing appropriately.
Of all times for my body to suddenly decide not to gain weight!
I do come by this problem honestly. First, genetics: nearly everyone in my mother's family is either overweight or obese. Second, habits: my default is to eat a "typical American diet," and since childhood I've preferred to devote more time to intellectual pursuits like reading than to physical activity. There have been brief periods when I've established a habit of daily exercise, but it's a continual struggle for me, definitely not something which comes naturally. (In contrast to my husband, who feels antsy and odd if he skips more than one day at the gym.)
As an adult, my weight has fluctuated between 150 and 230+ lbs, depending on the intensity (or lack) of my efforts to control it. Most of the time since college I've weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 195-210; that seems to be a weight range my body likes for some reason.
Many is the time I've lamented my trouble losing weight. I have often cursed my genes--which I can't control and are therefore easier to blame than my behavior--for predisposing me to weight gain. Many is the time I've envied others who are able to maintain a healthy weight, some of them seemingly effortlessly.
So given that my difficulty maintaining a healthy weight has been the bane of my existence since I was an adolescent, I have found it more than a little ironic that I have had so much trouble gaining weight since I've been pregnant. The one time in my life when it would be OK--indeed, encouraged--for me to gain weight, and I haven't been able to do it.
I've been concerned that by not gaining enough weight, I'm not helping our babies have the best possible outcome. A popular and well-regarded book on multiple pregnancy recommends gaining 20 lbs by 20 weeks for optimal outcomes, and I've obviously fallen far short of that goal.
My OB has not been concerned about my lack of weight gain thus far, and I have discussed it with her at nearly every appointment. She just says that the babies will take what they need and that there is no cause for concern as long as they are growing.
At my anatomy scan at around 20 weeks, both babies' estimated weights were slightly ahead of what would be expected for my dates, and that was reassuring. However, their growth rates and weights haven't been checked since then. I have a growth scan this afternoon, and I hope that it shows that they are both growing appropriately.
Of all times for my body to suddenly decide not to gain weight!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Keepin' it real
(Warning: this post is all about my pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I understand.)
Some of my goals in continuing to write on the same blog I started while in the throes of infertility has been to be sensitive to my readers who are still trying to get pregnant, to not forget what it took me to get to this point, and to be grateful for--and enjoy--my pregnancy.
I feel that I would be remiss, though, if I don't candidly share some of my pregnancy experiences which I have not written about in detail so far. Sure, I have shared some of the symptoms I've had in my weekly (and bi-weekly) updates, but I don't think I've given a complete picture.
Should another 40-ish woman who is contemplating transferring two embryos stumble across this blog and wonder about my experience, I want to give her a true impression of what twin pregnancy has been like for me. I do believe knowledge is power, and while reading what I've written may not influence anyone's decision (and that's not truly my intent), I think it's important for this hypothetical woman who may be standing where I was eight months ago to know the whole story.
Allow me to preface the next part of this post by saying--as I have before on this blog--that I realize how very fortunate I am in relation to many others. First, in just having the resources to pursue the fertility treatment we did to become parents and in having a husband who is supportive and on the same page as me. Second, our DE IVF cycle worked on the first try. I have made it to 25 weeks without apparent complications, and so far as I know, I am carrying two normal, healthy babies. Also, I have now reached a point in my pregnancy when the odds of our boys surviving even an early delivery (albeit likely with a long hospital stay and possible ongoing problems) are greatly in their favor.
Having acknowledged all that, let me say that this pregnancy has not been all lollipops and rainbows for me. Emotionally speaking, it has been mostly a very happy time for my husband and me. We are both thrilled to finally be so close to being parents.
Physically, though. . . . simply put, I would say that this pregnancy is the single most difficult thing my body has done to date. Since I hit 6 weeks, I have not had an entire single day when I have felt good physically.
Let me stop so you can think about that for a moment. In almost 20 weeks, not.one.single.day. Really.
And I haven't even reached "the hard part" of the pregnancy yet.
On the plus side, I've never had the experience I've heard some women report of "forgetting I'm pregnant." No, my physical symptoms are a constant reminder that I am gestating.
Allow me to share the physical symptoms which have been the hardest for me:
I think I knew that being pregnant would not necessarily be easy, but I don't think I truly knew how difficult it would be. Based on what my OB has told me, I do think part of the reason it's been particularly hard is the fact that I'm carrying two instead of one.
I hope I've done a decent job of stating facts here and not whining. I'm not trying to complain, just want to keep it real.
Some of my goals in continuing to write on the same blog I started while in the throes of infertility has been to be sensitive to my readers who are still trying to get pregnant, to not forget what it took me to get to this point, and to be grateful for--and enjoy--my pregnancy.
I feel that I would be remiss, though, if I don't candidly share some of my pregnancy experiences which I have not written about in detail so far. Sure, I have shared some of the symptoms I've had in my weekly (and bi-weekly) updates, but I don't think I've given a complete picture.
Should another 40-ish woman who is contemplating transferring two embryos stumble across this blog and wonder about my experience, I want to give her a true impression of what twin pregnancy has been like for me. I do believe knowledge is power, and while reading what I've written may not influence anyone's decision (and that's not truly my intent), I think it's important for this hypothetical woman who may be standing where I was eight months ago to know the whole story.
Allow me to preface the next part of this post by saying--as I have before on this blog--that I realize how very fortunate I am in relation to many others. First, in just having the resources to pursue the fertility treatment we did to become parents and in having a husband who is supportive and on the same page as me. Second, our DE IVF cycle worked on the first try. I have made it to 25 weeks without apparent complications, and so far as I know, I am carrying two normal, healthy babies. Also, I have now reached a point in my pregnancy when the odds of our boys surviving even an early delivery (albeit likely with a long hospital stay and possible ongoing problems) are greatly in their favor.
Having acknowledged all that, let me say that this pregnancy has not been all lollipops and rainbows for me. Emotionally speaking, it has been mostly a very happy time for my husband and me. We are both thrilled to finally be so close to being parents.
Physically, though. . . . simply put, I would say that this pregnancy is the single most difficult thing my body has done to date. Since I hit 6 weeks, I have not had an entire single day when I have felt good physically.
Let me stop so you can think about that for a moment. In almost 20 weeks, not.one.single.day. Really.
And I haven't even reached "the hard part" of the pregnancy yet.
On the plus side, I've never had the experience I've heard some women report of "forgetting I'm pregnant." No, my physical symptoms are a constant reminder that I am gestating.
Allow me to share the physical symptoms which have been the hardest for me:
- Fatigue. My fatigue was crippling during the first trimester. Up until around 14 weeks, I literally did nothing but go to my office each day. I took an hour-long afternoon nap AT the office on the days when my schedule permitted it. Evenings and weekends, I did nothing but lie on the couch. I had little to no energy to read a book or talk with friends, let alone go anywhere or accomplish anything around the house. During this period, my husband did all the household chores (which weren't being done by our housekeeper at her bi-weekly visits) and got most of my food for me. I know everyone who gets pregnant experiences fatigue, but I do feel that mine was much more severe than what has been reported to me by most of my friends and acquaintances.
- Lack of energy. Despite what the books and websites say, I never saw a "return to normal energy level" with the arrival of the second trimester. I continued to have much less energy than pre-pregnancy. I discussed this with my OB at two different appointments, hoping that there was some explanation which could be treated/fixed. Nope. I was told by two different OBs in the practice that this was "normal" for a pregnancy with multiples. (And yes, possible medical explanations were ruled out.)
- Difficulty concentrating. (I do think that this symptom is an outgrowth of the previous two more than anything.) Tasks which would normally take me hardly any time to complete now take hours. I have to read and concentrate for work (I'm a lawyer), but the idea of trying to do so when I don't "have to" is anathema to me. This is a HUGE change from my normal self. I suspect this one isn't going to return to normal too soon after our babies arrive either, if for no other reason, because of the sleep deprivation I'm sure to experience.
- Nausea. Oddly enough, I have never vomited a single time since I've been pregnant. BUT I had unremitting, severe, all-day nausea from 6 weeks to 15 weeks. Between 15 weeks and 22 weeks, I was able to wean myself off Zofran (I was glad to quit it because of the BRUTAL constipation it caused) and only had nausea a portion of each day. Since 22 weeks, I have had no true nausea but must be careful about what I eat, am still sensitive to smells, and occasionally get "gaggy" if I smell something bad or go too long without eating. (Examples: this morning I had dry heaves in the car on the way to a deposition because I'd been awake for 40 minutes and hadn't eaten yet. Last Saturday, I went into a bathroom at Babies R Us where there was a rancid smell and spent five minutes retching.)
- Heartburn. At first, my heartburn was something which was associated with my nausea and only developed if my stomach was empty too long or I ate something which disagreed with me. Since my nausea has subsided, my heartburn has stuck around. My OB tells me that the babies are not yet big enough to be crowding my organs and that this heartburn is due to hormones, not mechanics. (I still have the crowding-related heartburn to look forward to.) The heartburn is the usual burning sensation in the esophagus with which we are all familiar, as well as sometimes feeling I have a large "lump" stuck midway between my mouth and my stomach. So far I have tried Pe.pcid, Za.ntac, Pril.os.ec, and lots of Tums to treat it. The first two didn't work at all, the Pril.os.ec helps a little (takes the edge off), and the Tums only work for a half-hour or so after I take them (in addition to tasting chalky and gross, which can also turn my stomach). Ironically, drinking water--which is otherwise highly recommended; I'm supposed to drink 2-3 liters a day--seems to make my heartburn worse.
- Shortness of breath, dizziness. I can no longer walk up a flight of stairs, or even walk at my normal (fairly brisk) pace without getting winded. If I stand up quickly, I often feel dizzy. Again, I am told these are normal, and I am not anemic. I actually started this pregnancy in pretty good physical condition for me--readers who've been with me for a while may recall that I dropped 15 lbs and completed a month-long fitness boot camp just prior to our DE cycle--so I don't think I can attribute my shortness of breath to being out of shape. (Though goodness knows, I have done very little exercise since I've been pregnant, between early activity restrictions, fatigue, nausea and the like.) I also can't really attribute my shortness of breath to carrying more weight than I am used to: I only weigh 4 lbs more today than I did the morning of transfer, and I've weighed as much as 20 lbs more than this within the past five years (and I could still get around then without huffing & puffing). It's also too early to blame the shortness of breath on the babies' crowding my lungs; they aren't big enough for that yet.
- Hemorrhoids. I don't think I need to go into great detail here. Moving on. . .
- New skin growths and moles. I had a few moles pre-pregnancy, and I have had skin tags removed in the past, but I now have skin tags in (unmentionable) places I've never had them before. I also have several moles on areolae of both breasts, a few of which are large enough and close enough to my nipples that they give me cause for concern, since I'm planning to breast-feed. Again, I am told this is all normal.
- Other changes in my skin. I've mentioned here before that I've never had a pregnancy glow. My skin is dry, sometimes peeling--despite using more lotion and moisturizers than normal--and I just look old and tired. I haven't had the "mask of pregnancy" develop, and so far no line or stretch marks on my belly--though they may still be coming, so I guess I've actually been pretty fortunate here so far.
- Headaches. Actually, mine have been fewer and less severe since I've been pregnant. (I usually average 2-3 migraines a month and have only had two in the six months I've been pregnant.) The hard part about headaches in pregnancy, though, is that I'm not permitted to take anything which might actually help: "Tylenol only." This means that a headache which would normally be cleared up in an hour by two Advil now persists all day and sometimes into the next day.
I think I knew that being pregnant would not necessarily be easy, but I don't think I truly knew how difficult it would be. Based on what my OB has told me, I do think part of the reason it's been particularly hard is the fact that I'm carrying two instead of one.
I hope I've done a decent job of stating facts here and not whining. I'm not trying to complain, just want to keep it real.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
25 weeks
(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)
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Total Weight Loss/Gain: I have now gained 4 lbs from what I weighed the morning of my transfer.
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though not all of them, obviously). I am going to have to start wearing maternity shirts soon, as my belly is getting pretty big.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. Getting up to pee 2-4 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested for at least part of the day. I'd take a nap every afternoon if I could. (I do try to at least lie down for an hour or so on the afternoons I'm in the office and not out at depositions.)
Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. I am feeling more movements in different places now, too. Not sure if that's because the babies are changing position or because they are bigger and I can now feel other parts besides just legs kicking. ?
Cravings/Aversions: I was craving Dr. Pepper last week, but I think it was just because I haven't had one in ages (and won't permit myself one while pregnant, having sworn off all caffeine and high fructose corn syrup). I still can't eat a lot of things I did pre-pregnancy, simply because they make my (ever-present) heartburn worse. (Chocolate and other sweets are a prime example of this.)
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: Still heartburn some part of every day and lots of GI upset in general. I am still "gaggy" occasionally, but no waves of nausea since 22w1d, thank goodness. Occasional feeling of stretching across my abdomen or in my groin which has been more intense the past couple of days. (I suspect the babies are growing faster now.) Nipples are still sore at times and look different from pre-pregnancy.
What I miss: Having a normal energy level. Being able to eat what I want.
What I look forward to: MM being able to feel the babies' movement (he's had a few "near miss" situations but hasn't felt them yet), meeting these babies.
Moods: Generally good.
Milestones: I had my shower and have ordered our nursery decorations. ;-)
Medical concerns: Just this afternoon, I found out that my result on the one-hour glucose screening was elevated, so I have to go in first thing Monday morning for the three-hour screening to see if I have gestational diabetes. Ugh. With all my risk factors--family history of diabetes on both sides, overweight, over 40, and carrying twins--I should've seen this coming, but I'm not happy about it.
Also, my blood pressure was mildly elevated at Monday's OB appointment (134/82, I think). My doctor said we would "keep an eye on it." I start going in every two weeks for appointments now that I've passed 24 weeks, so they'll have plenty of opportunity to check it.
Oh, and I have a yeast infection. Lovely. The only symptom I had was a whitish discharge--no burning, itching, odor, etc.--so I'm glad I asked the OB to check.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it.
Misc: I talked with my OB at Monday's appointment about whether and when I would have to stop working. She told me I won't have to stop working (barring complications) at all, but that she will likely advise at some future point that I cut my hours back to about half time. I talked with my boss about it, and he was very understanding and willing to accommodate me. We are already discussing shifting some of my workload to others in the office so that I am able to cut back. Whew!
*************************
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I have now gained 4 lbs from what I weighed the morning of my transfer.
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though not all of them, obviously). I am going to have to start wearing maternity shirts soon, as my belly is getting pretty big.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. Getting up to pee 2-4 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested for at least part of the day. I'd take a nap every afternoon if I could. (I do try to at least lie down for an hour or so on the afternoons I'm in the office and not out at depositions.)
Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. I am feeling more movements in different places now, too. Not sure if that's because the babies are changing position or because they are bigger and I can now feel other parts besides just legs kicking. ?
Cravings/Aversions: I was craving Dr. Pepper last week, but I think it was just because I haven't had one in ages (and won't permit myself one while pregnant, having sworn off all caffeine and high fructose corn syrup). I still can't eat a lot of things I did pre-pregnancy, simply because they make my (ever-present) heartburn worse. (Chocolate and other sweets are a prime example of this.)
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: Still heartburn some part of every day and lots of GI upset in general. I am still "gaggy" occasionally, but no waves of nausea since 22w1d, thank goodness. Occasional feeling of stretching across my abdomen or in my groin which has been more intense the past couple of days. (I suspect the babies are growing faster now.) Nipples are still sore at times and look different from pre-pregnancy.
What I miss: Having a normal energy level. Being able to eat what I want.
What I look forward to: MM being able to feel the babies' movement (he's had a few "near miss" situations but hasn't felt them yet), meeting these babies.
Moods: Generally good.
Milestones: I had my shower and have ordered our nursery decorations. ;-)
Medical concerns: Just this afternoon, I found out that my result on the one-hour glucose screening was elevated, so I have to go in first thing Monday morning for the three-hour screening to see if I have gestational diabetes. Ugh. With all my risk factors--family history of diabetes on both sides, overweight, over 40, and carrying twins--I should've seen this coming, but I'm not happy about it.
Also, my blood pressure was mildly elevated at Monday's OB appointment (134/82, I think). My doctor said we would "keep an eye on it." I start going in every two weeks for appointments now that I've passed 24 weeks, so they'll have plenty of opportunity to check it.
Oh, and I have a yeast infection. Lovely. The only symptom I had was a whitish discharge--no burning, itching, odor, etc.--so I'm glad I asked the OB to check.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it.
Misc: I talked with my OB at Monday's appointment about whether and when I would have to stop working. She told me I won't have to stop working (barring complications) at all, but that she will likely advise at some future point that I cut my hours back to about half time. I talked with my boss about it, and he was very understanding and willing to accommodate me. We are already discussing shifting some of my workload to others in the office so that I am able to cut back. Whew!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Different
I often think that women with infertility probably experience their pregnancies differently from pregnant women who have not experienced infertility prior to conception. There are probably a variety of ways in which the experience is different, but I imagine that one key difference is a difference in anxiety levels about how the pregnancy will progress. I suppose that "fertile" women mostly assume, from the time they first see a positive result on the home pregnancy test, that they will be bringing home a healthy baby in nine months. I know that few, if any, women who have experienced infertility make that assumption.
Even before infertility, I knew that a positive pregnancy test did not necessarily mean a healthy, living baby in nine months. Having lived to the age of 40, having been a nurse in my previous career, and having been a me.di.cal malp.rac.tice att.orn.ey for the past 4+ years, I had a certain awareness of what can go wrong during pregnancy prior to ever trying to get pregnant myself. Fortunately, I had not known many people in real life who had had bad pregnancy outcomes, but I was fully aware of the possibilities.
I will say, though, that being a member of the online infertility community has heightened my awareness of these things. . . things like miscarriages, stillbirths, preterm labor, preelampsia and the like. I'm not sure if that's because these things happen more often to those of us who have struggled with infertility, or if it's because someone who has written openly on a blog about her infertility is also likely to write openly about her losses or difficulties in a way that others might not.
Having just had my baby shower yesterday (post with photos about the shower to follow sometime soon), our "nursery" is now full of baby clothes, blankets, stuffed animals, swings and other baby items. On the one hand, it's good. I feel so fortunate to have so many generous friends who have given us these gifts.
On the other hand, seeing all those things stored in our house, just waiting for their recipients to use them, got me thinking. First, it's still odd to think that, within (probably) the next three months, there will be two actual, living babies in our home using these items. Even though I now feel both babies' movements several times a day, and have seen them on ultrasound numerous times, they are still something of an abstract concept to me. So it's strange to have these tangible reminders that they are real live little people. Strange but also good.
Second, I thought fleetingly of how awful it would be to have to get rid of all these gifts if, G-d forbid, something should happen to the babies. I know, it's a morbid thought, and not one that I allowed myself to entertain for long. But it popped into my mind nonetheless. At least for me, I'm not sure I'd be thinking something like this if I'd just woken up one day after just a few months of TTC and seen a + HPT. One of several ways in which infertility has changed the way I think.
Even though these types of thoughts sometimes crop up, I try to focus more on planning for our boys' arrival. I know this is the only time I will be pregnant, and despite the physical discomforts, I am doing my best to enjoy it.
Even before infertility, I knew that a positive pregnancy test did not necessarily mean a healthy, living baby in nine months. Having lived to the age of 40, having been a nurse in my previous career, and having been a me.di.cal malp.rac.tice att.orn.ey for the past 4+ years, I had a certain awareness of what can go wrong during pregnancy prior to ever trying to get pregnant myself. Fortunately, I had not known many people in real life who had had bad pregnancy outcomes, but I was fully aware of the possibilities.
I will say, though, that being a member of the online infertility community has heightened my awareness of these things. . . things like miscarriages, stillbirths, preterm labor, preelampsia and the like. I'm not sure if that's because these things happen more often to those of us who have struggled with infertility, or if it's because someone who has written openly on a blog about her infertility is also likely to write openly about her losses or difficulties in a way that others might not.
Having just had my baby shower yesterday (post with photos about the shower to follow sometime soon), our "nursery" is now full of baby clothes, blankets, stuffed animals, swings and other baby items. On the one hand, it's good. I feel so fortunate to have so many generous friends who have given us these gifts.
On the other hand, seeing all those things stored in our house, just waiting for their recipients to use them, got me thinking. First, it's still odd to think that, within (probably) the next three months, there will be two actual, living babies in our home using these items. Even though I now feel both babies' movements several times a day, and have seen them on ultrasound numerous times, they are still something of an abstract concept to me. So it's strange to have these tangible reminders that they are real live little people. Strange but also good.
Second, I thought fleetingly of how awful it would be to have to get rid of all these gifts if, G-d forbid, something should happen to the babies. I know, it's a morbid thought, and not one that I allowed myself to entertain for long. But it popped into my mind nonetheless. At least for me, I'm not sure I'd be thinking something like this if I'd just woken up one day after just a few months of TTC and seen a + HPT. One of several ways in which infertility has changed the way I think.
Even though these types of thoughts sometimes crop up, I try to focus more on planning for our boys' arrival. I know this is the only time I will be pregnant, and despite the physical discomforts, I am doing my best to enjoy it.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
24 weeks
(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)
*************************
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I have now gained 2-3 lbs, depending upon the day's weigh-in. At last! Actual, sustained weight gain!
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though not all of them, obviously). I wore my first maternity shirt Monday.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. Getting up to pee 2-4 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested for at least part of the day. I'd take a nap every afternoon if I could.
Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. (Except for the fact that, ever since a coworker told him that her doctor wants her to count her baby's daily kicks, MM now asks me multiple times if I've felt the babies moving.) Feeling their movements is one of the few things I've really enjoyed about being pregnant so far.
Cravings/Aversions: Still no real cravings. All my food aversions are gone at this point, although I am more "finicky" about my eating than I ever was pre-pregnancy.
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: Still heartburn some part of every day and lots of GI upset in general. I am still "gaggy" occasionally, but no waves of nausea since 22w1d, thank goodness. Occasional feeling of stretching across my abdomen or in my groin. Nipples are still sore at times and look different from pre-pregnancy.
What I miss: Having a normal energy level. I take it easy as much as I can, but work continues to be demanding. Most days, it takes all my energy, so I'm not accomplishing much outside the office.
What I look forward to: MM being able to feel the babies' movement, meeting these babies.
Moods: Generally good.
Milestones: Most people consider 24 weeks the milestone for viability.
Medical concerns: None so far, thank goodness. I haven't noticed any more Braxton Hicks contractions since my trip to OB triage almost two weeks ago.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it.
Misc: My baby shower is this Saturday. I'm looking forward to it, particularly because I've been something of a recluse since getting pregnant (between the 16 weeks of nausea and the fatigue). I'll get to see friends I haven't seen in a while, or at least haven't seen much.
I am still chipping away at what needs to be done in the home office/nursery. It's slow going, but I'm hoping to get it done before I hit 28 weeks. (Oh, and unfortunately, MM can't really do it for me because it's all my stuff that needs to be sorted, reorganized and moved to somewhere else in the house.)
*************************
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I have now gained 2-3 lbs, depending upon the day's weigh-in. At last! Actual, sustained weight gain!
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though not all of them, obviously). I wore my first maternity shirt Monday.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. Getting up to pee 2-4 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested for at least part of the day. I'd take a nap every afternoon if I could.
Movement: I'm feeling movement off and on throughout the day from both babies, and it's pretty cool. (Except for the fact that, ever since a coworker told him that her doctor wants her to count her baby's daily kicks, MM now asks me multiple times if I've felt the babies moving.) Feeling their movements is one of the few things I've really enjoyed about being pregnant so far.
Cravings/Aversions: Still no real cravings. All my food aversions are gone at this point, although I am more "finicky" about my eating than I ever was pre-pregnancy.
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: Still heartburn some part of every day and lots of GI upset in general. I am still "gaggy" occasionally, but no waves of nausea since 22w1d, thank goodness. Occasional feeling of stretching across my abdomen or in my groin. Nipples are still sore at times and look different from pre-pregnancy.
What I miss: Having a normal energy level. I take it easy as much as I can, but work continues to be demanding. Most days, it takes all my energy, so I'm not accomplishing much outside the office.
What I look forward to: MM being able to feel the babies' movement, meeting these babies.
Moods: Generally good.
Milestones: Most people consider 24 weeks the milestone for viability.
Medical concerns: None so far, thank goodness. I haven't noticed any more Braxton Hicks contractions since my trip to OB triage almost two weeks ago.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it.
Misc: My baby shower is this Saturday. I'm looking forward to it, particularly because I've been something of a recluse since getting pregnant (between the 16 weeks of nausea and the fatigue). I'll get to see friends I haven't seen in a while, or at least haven't seen much.
I am still chipping away at what needs to be done in the home office/nursery. It's slow going, but I'm hoping to get it done before I hit 28 weeks. (Oh, and unfortunately, MM can't really do it for me because it's all my stuff that needs to be sorted, reorganized and moved to somewhere else in the house.)
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
23 weeks
(Today's post will be all about pregnancy. If you don't feel like reading about that right now, I completely understand. Hope to see you again soon.)
*************************
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I think I may have gained a pound, but it's not consistent. Overall I think I am still at the break-even point I was last week.
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though not all of them, obviously). I have ordered a couple of maternity shirts and will need to order more soon.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. Getting up to pee 2-4 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested.
Movement: I'm feeling movement all the time from both babies, though it can sometimes be a little difficult to discern which one is moving, depending on where I'm feeling it. Feeling their movements is one of the few things I've really enjoyed about being pregnant so far.
Cravings/Aversions: Still no real cravings. All my food aversions are gone at this point, although I am more "finicky" about my eating than I ever was pre-pregnancy.
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: As of last Thursday, I no longer have nausea. (Hallelujah! It only took until 22 weeks to go away!) I do still get "gaggy" at times, have heartburn some part of every day, and I burp a lot and get a lot of gas. Sore nipples which are generally darker but change shades from day to day. Sometimes I'm feeling stretching sensations across my abdomen, but these come and go. I am ravenously hungry if I go more than three hours without eating, and earlier in the day, I sometimes need to eat a little something every two hours. It's crazy!
What I miss: Feeling normal. (Not sure I ever will again, LOL.)
What I look forward to: MM being able to feel the babies' movement, making it to viability in two weeks.
Moods: Generally good.
Milestones: I have now reached a point where there is a *small* chance of these babies' surviving outside the womb. (The odds still wouldn't be in their favor, and they'd have a high risk of long-term complications. . . . but prior to this week, they'd have had zero chance of survival, so I think that's significant.)
Medical concerns: None so far, thank goodness. I posted about my "false alarm" trip to OB triage last week which turned out to be nothing.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it.
Misc: As this post is being published, I am headed out on what will likely be my last out-of-state business trip until I return from maternity leave. I am flying to Columbus, OH, for two days for a deposition. MM is very worried about my flying at this point in my pregnancy, but so far my OB hasn't restricted me from it. (She says I'll be unable to fly starting at 28 weeks.)
I still haven't gotten around to clearing out what needs to be sorted in our home office so that it can become the nursery. Truth be told, it is driving MM a little nuts. I feel bad about it, but last weekend I was so, so tired that all I wanted to do was lie around. (I did find the energy to go to Ta.rg.et, the grocery store and a Halloween costume party, but that was it.) Maybe this coming weekend; we'll see.
*************************
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I think I may have gained a pound, but it's not consistent. Overall I think I am still at the break-even point I was last week.
Maternity Clothes: All maternity pants all the time now. I'm still able to wear my own shirts (though not all of them, obviously). I have ordered a couple of maternity shirts and will need to order more soon.
Stretch marks: I've had stretch marks for years from growth spurts and weight gain. I don't have any new ones related to pregnancy yet.
Sleep: Just OK. Getting up to pee 2-4 times a night. If I allot at least nine hours for a night's sleep, I usually feel fairly rested.
Movement: I'm feeling movement all the time from both babies, though it can sometimes be a little difficult to discern which one is moving, depending on where I'm feeling it. Feeling their movements is one of the few things I've really enjoyed about being pregnant so far.
Cravings/Aversions: Still no real cravings. All my food aversions are gone at this point, although I am more "finicky" about my eating than I ever was pre-pregnancy.
Gender: We are having two boys.
Symptoms: As of last Thursday, I no longer have nausea. (Hallelujah! It only took until 22 weeks to go away!) I do still get "gaggy" at times, have heartburn some part of every day, and I burp a lot and get a lot of gas. Sore nipples which are generally darker but change shades from day to day. Sometimes I'm feeling stretching sensations across my abdomen, but these come and go. I am ravenously hungry if I go more than three hours without eating, and earlier in the day, I sometimes need to eat a little something every two hours. It's crazy!
What I miss: Feeling normal. (Not sure I ever will again, LOL.)
What I look forward to: MM being able to feel the babies' movement, making it to viability in two weeks.
Moods: Generally good.
Milestones: I have now reached a point where there is a *small* chance of these babies' surviving outside the womb. (The odds still wouldn't be in their favor, and they'd have a high risk of long-term complications. . . . but prior to this week, they'd have had zero chance of survival, so I think that's significant.)
Medical concerns: None so far, thank goodness. I posted about my "false alarm" trip to OB triage last week which turned out to be nothing.
Sex?: MM continues to feel weird about it.
Misc: As this post is being published, I am headed out on what will likely be my last out-of-state business trip until I return from maternity leave. I am flying to Columbus, OH, for two days for a deposition. MM is very worried about my flying at this point in my pregnancy, but so far my OB hasn't restricted me from it. (She says I'll be unable to fly starting at 28 weeks.)
I still haven't gotten around to clearing out what needs to be sorted in our home office so that it can become the nursery. Truth be told, it is driving MM a little nuts. I feel bad about it, but last weekend I was so, so tired that all I wanted to do was lie around. (I did find the energy to go to Ta.rg.et, the grocery store and a Halloween costume party, but that was it.) Maybe this coming weekend; we'll see.
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