Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Things could be worse

Once again, I have not been posting much.  Occasionally I have a thought or a feeling that I want to share on this blog, but lately they never seem to rise to a level where I actually get around to writing and posting.  (Bear in mind that, for the most part, my posting must now be done at home, during my personal time, and I often go a week or more without even turning on the computer at home, after being on it and on my Bla.ckBe.rry all day at work.  So I'm sure that's a big factor.)

I'm not feeling good about where we are.  I'm not feeling particularly optimistic about getting out of this in-between/waiting place any time soon.  But I am trying not to dwell on it much, since there is little I can do about it.  Life is busy, which helps to redirect my attention to other areas of my life.

Rest assured, I am still reading all my regular blogs (which would include all the ones on my blog lists here and many more that I've never gotten around to adding to the lists), even if I am not commenting as much as I used to.  Hey, you ladies are just about the only women in the world whose pregnancies put a smile on my face instead of feelings of anger and injustice in my heart!

In non-TTC-related news, things are pretty much the same as ever.  MM and I saw our accountant last week and will be finding out in the next week or so how much our tax refunds will be; we know we will be getting some money back, just the exact amount is unclear at the moment.  Depending on how much we will get back, we may use a portion for a vacation for our third wedding anniversary in November--the rest is going toward our fertility treatment savings fund--so we are looking forward to finding out.  Hawaii and St. Lucia are being considered for our trip, assuming there is money for it.

MM has been dealing with a minor health scare: while being treated for pneumonia last month, his PCP noticed some abnormal labwork which resulted in a referral to a hematologist.  MM is a self-admitted hypochondriac, so being sent to see a specialist where the word "ONCOLOGY" is painted on the front door of the office has caused him a lot of anxiety.  (I, as a former nurse, am more pragmatic and less apt to think "worst case scenario" about these things.)  He had an appointment yesterday with a whole slew of new blood tests, and we will know the results next Thursday.

As for me, I am on day four of a constant headache which, thankfully, has not yet blossomed into a full-on migraine, thanks to regular doses of and caffeine.  (I woke up at 2:40 this morning because of the pain and had to take more medication.)  I am also thinking (for the millionth time) about doing something serious about my weight (hCG diet? Medi-fast?), but so far I've not really passed the "thinking about it" stage.  Plus anything more than a walk around the neighborhood with the dogs is pretty much out of the question when I have a headache like the one I have currently because headaches decrease my energy level, and any kind of exercise which elevates my heart rate exacerbates them.

Thinking of people I know who are dealing with cancer makes me grateful that the only health challenges I'm facing are headaches, infertility and obesity.  Things could be much worse.


  1. Right there with you, sister. Not posting a lot, but reading blogs. Thinking about losing weight.

  2. I hope MM's blood work comes back fine. It ia always scary when theb ig c word gets thrownaround. Sorry for the errors I'm posting from my iPad and I don't quite have the hang of the keyboard...

    Anyway, your appointment the other day sounds lke it went really well. I'm so glad that you guys have a plan. It always feels so good to have a plan and move forward.

    Oh and hope your heDache clears out soon.

  3. headaches are so draining.

    i hope mm gets a good report when the tests come back!

    we have our taxman appointment in early march. really hope we get something back this year! we usually try to keep it a little close - i would rather have my money than loan it to the government interest free! but this year i would like a little bonus. we shall see.

    thanks for sticking with me on my blog. it was sometimes hard for me to do that when people...changed...shall we say!


  4. It seems like a lot of people (myself included) have been slowing down on posting and commenting. Be gentle with yourself -- and I hope your headache is gone by now (seeing as how you wrote this a long time ago...)

  5. I work at an oncology center, and it always freaks out the hematology patients to see "Oncology" on the door! There are so many cancers that originate in the bone marrow that all oncologists are hematologists as well (which you know). My mom sees the oncologist I work for due to iron-deficiency anemia. We see pregnancy related anemias, too. But it's just scary to see any association to cancer at all!
    I'm so jealous, a vacation sounds heavenly! I've heard St. Lucia is insanely gorgeous! And how can you ever go wrong with Hawaii?
    I had good success with MediFast before. I did gain some back, but not as much as I was before I started. If we hadn't started TTC, I would've stuck with it and maintained. I hope to go back on it after breastfeeding.

  6. I'm with you on the lack of posting but still reading. I hope things get better for you and MM!


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