Once again, I have not been posting much. Occasionally I have a thought or a feeling that I want to share on this blog, but lately they never seem to rise to a level where I actually get around to writing and posting. (Bear in mind that, for the most part, my posting must now be done at home, during my personal time, and I often go a week or more without even turning on the computer at home, after being on it and on my Bla.ckBe.rry all day at work. So I'm sure that's a big factor.)
I'm not feeling good about where we are. I'm not feeling particularly optimistic about getting out of this in-between/waiting place any time soon. But I am trying not to dwell on it much, since there is little I can do about it. Life is busy, which helps to redirect my attention to other areas of my life.
Rest assured, I am still reading all my regular blogs (which would include all the ones on my blog lists here and many more that I've never gotten around to adding to the lists), even if I am not commenting as much as I used to. Hey, you ladies are just about the only women in the world whose pregnancies put a smile on my face instead of feelings of anger and injustice in my heart!
In non-TTC-related news, things are pretty much the same as ever. MM and I saw our accountant last week and will be finding out in the next week or so how much our tax refunds will be; we know we will be getting some money back, just the exact amount is unclear at the moment. Depending on how much we will get back, we may use a portion for a vacation for our third wedding anniversary in November--the rest is going toward our fertility treatment savings fund--so we are looking forward to finding out. Hawaii and St. Lucia are being considered for our trip, assuming there is money for it.
MM has been dealing with a minor health scare: while being treated for pneumonia last month, his PCP noticed some abnormal labwork which resulted in a referral to a hematologist. MM is a self-admitted hypochondriac, so being sent to see a specialist where the word "ONCOLOGY" is painted on the front door of the office has caused him a lot of anxiety. (I, as a former nurse, am more pragmatic and less apt to think "worst case scenario" about these things.) He had an appointment yesterday with a whole slew of new blood tests, and we will know the results next Thursday.
As for me, I am on day four of a constant headache which, thankfully, has not yet blossomed into a full-on migraine, thanks to regular doses of ibup.ro.fen and caffeine. (I woke up at 2:40 this morning because of the pain and had to take more medication.) I am also thinking (for the millionth time) about doing something serious about my weight (hCG diet? Medi-fast?), but so far I've not really passed the "thinking about it" stage. Plus anything more than a walk around the neighborhood with the dogs is pretty much out of the question when I have a headache like the one I have currently because headaches decrease my energy level, and any kind of exercise which elevates my heart rate exacerbates them.
Thinking of people I know who are dealing with cancer makes me grateful that the only health challenges I'm facing are headaches, infertility and obesity. Things could be much worse.