Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Wow, thanks to Cherbear at Infertility in a Nutshell for giving me this award.  I love discovering new bloggers, especially in this community!  And actually, given how many of my readers/fellow bloggers seem to get pregnant--happily for them, sadly for me--I'd really start to feel alone if I didn't discover new ladies all the time.

I am supposed to give this award to 15 other bloggers and share 7 interesting things about myself.  Due to lack of time, I am going to skip these steps but appreciate the award nonetheless.

In infertility-related news. . . . MM and I have our first-ever joint session with my counselor NC on Sunday.  Should be interesting.  We have a couple of different plans in the works and continue to talk about where we will go from here, so I guess that is a positive thing. 

In sad semi-infertility-related news. . . . back when I used to frequent the message boards of a popular fertility tracking website, I was part of a "buddy group" in which all of us were TTC our first.  I joined the buddy group during the early optimistic phase of our TTC "journey," just a few months after going off the Pill.

There were nine women who regularly participated in this buddy group.  Five of the nine got pregnant during the first three months of TTC; another within the first six months; and still another after a year of TTC.  That left one other "buddy" and me still not pregnant.

I left those message boards well over a year ago but have continued to keep in touch with my "buddies" on Fac.eb.ook.  Most of these ladies' first children have turned, or will shortly be turning, two years of age, and two of the women have had a second child as well.

Last week, I got a message from the other still-childless "buddy" letting me know that she and her husband have divorced.  She told me that when he wasn't supportive of her in her infertility, she realized that he never supported her, and that was the beginning of the end.

I have read and heard that the strain infertility puts on a marriage can lead to divorce, but this "buddy" of mine is my first, firsthand example of this.  I must admit, hearing about the break-up of her marriage was jolting to me, as well as sad for her.

So what's my point in sharing this sad tale?  I guess just to say that it makes me doubly determined to work on keeping my marriage intact, no matter what happens with our efforts to become parents.  It can be harder than it seems.


  1. That's so sad, and it seems to happen a lot. But I can see how. Infertility is life changing. I know that it's changed my personality completely - for the better and for the worse.

    I'll keep your friend in my thoughts. I hope your counseling appointment goes well.

  2. Good for you. When I was in TTC hell, I decided that whatever else I would not let my marriage to my fantastic husband go. I think too many women get so focused on having a baby that they treat their husbands as if they are second place and life will never be okay without a baby. This really hurts the husbands as you can imagine.

  3. That is such a sad story...for all the things IF has taken from us, the worst would be my marriage. All the best to your friend.

  4. amen sister. And you deserve the award. no biggie if you don't have time to pass it on. :)

  5. Your story makes me think of something similar in my own life - I also joined a group 2.5 years ago now, and all of them have babies at this point except me.

    I do agree there is no way to make it through this infertility journey of ours without a strong partner, and even though there is sometimes strain due to all we go through, I don't think I could do it alone.

  6. I, too, "flunked" out of several classes of women undergoing fertility treatments. By the time I gave birth, my initial classmates' children were turning three. I know it is hard but keep going.


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