Friday, March 19, 2010

Turning 39

MM and I leave tomorrow morning for a 4-day trip to Las Vegas. The trip is serving multiple purposes: allowing MM to place some bets on the NCAA basketball tournament at the sports book, relaxation for both of us, and celebrating my 39th birthday on Sunday.

I've had several friends tell me how hard they found turning 30 or 40, but for me, the most difficult birthday I've had so far was 29. 29 was hard for me because ever since I was a teenager, I had had certain goals in my mind that I had hoped to achieve by 30. None of those goals was likely to be accomplished in a year, and so it became clear to me on my 29th birthday that I was more likely than not going to fail to reach those cherished goals.

My goals by 30? Probably nothing too out of the ordinary:

1) Have a career I loved.
2) Be married.
3) Have at least one child.

On my 29th and 30th birthdays, I was 0 for 3. I was in the midst of changing careers, still single and childless.

As my 39th birthday approaches, with 40 now on the horizon, I am 2 for 3. I am married to a wonderful man, and I love my career (though my specific job has its on and off days). I have enjoyed my 30s tremendously and feel I have grown a lot in the past ten years. I am more content and more confident than I've ever been.

Honestly, the only reason I dread 40 is the grim reports I read about the improbability of conceiving after 40. But hey, let's be honest: I've been TTC since I was just-turned-37 and have not had any greater success in this department. 40 is just a number.

So this weekend, I will drink a (figurative) toast to my last year in my 30s, which have been--as a close friend promised they would be--my best decade yet. I will celebrate with pasta and chocolate cake rather than alcohol, simply because carbs are my preferred indulgence and I no longer drink alcohol. I will enjoy relaxing by the pool and seeing an awesome Cirque du Soleil show.

And I will not think about my elderly eggs.


  1. Sounds like an awesome way to celebrate. I hate that we put this kind of pressure on ourselves. I too had a set of goals I wanted to attain by 30 and not only haven't I met some of them - I feel trapped in certain ways. Like I won't ever be able to break out of my rut and achieve a certain few of them. Even in my next decade, which I too have been promised will be the best yet.

    Also, 40 IS just a number (as is 39). There's no magic biological switch that goes on or off automatically. Statistics are only as good as their cutoffs and in the fertility world, the cuttoffs and milestones are pretty arbitrary. I've heard doctors admit this.

    Celebrate how much you have achieved, because your achievements really are remarkable. I envy how happy you are in your career and the way you find time to live life, travel, celebrate, and relax despite the demanding legal industry. I admire your devotion to your dogs and your incredible marriage. And no one deserves it all more.

    Have a fantastic birthday!

  2. Women usually take the brunt of the infertility stigma but the male can also have issues relating to their age as it relates to the ability conceive. A study of over 12000 couples done a couple years ago concluded the age of the male was a contributing factor the number if miscarriages and issues conceiving at all.

    Sperm quantity and quality was examined as part of the In-vitro Fertilization process. Miscarriages were more prevalent when the male was of 40 years of age, even if the female was not. Researchers felt the data supported the findings that the age of the male as a significant factor in the viability of the fetus. These researchers also recommended that in case where the male was over 40, couples having fertility issues should elect to have the sperm injected directly in the egg to help the chances for success.

    Although no technique is guaranteed, studies like this one gives credence to the idea that couples over 40 who have issues trying to conceive, may not entirely be an issue with the female. Men over 40 can be a contributing factor that can delay or even prevent a successful pregnancy.

  3. I hope you have the happiest birthday thus far - 2 for 3 is pretty great as far as averages go (I'm not even close to that average!). Have a wonderful time in Vegas and a wonderful birthday.

  4. Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great time in Vegas!!! What Cirque show are did you go to?

  5. Happy Birthday! Have a wonderful time!


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