Thanks so much to all of you who expressed your sympathy and support on my last post. I am still feeling pretty sad about losing Sebastian. I always knew I would take his death hard because he was an exceptional dog and I loved him so much. I had just hoped I would have more time with him and it would be a few more years before I would have to face it.
I am trying to move on. I know Sebastian would never want me to be sad; he was happy every single day of his life. Even though I feel his absence keenly, I do still have so many good things in my life to be happy about. I need to focus on those things and not on what I have lost.
My father and stepmother visited us this weekend. Having them here was a good distraction (though I still thought about Sebastian a lot). MM and I told them about my pregnancy on Friday night when they arrived, and they were thrilled. They didn't ask any questions about how we got pregnant, just said they had both been praying for this for a long time. They have already offered to come for the birth and to help us out in whatever way we need or want.
Speaking of my pregnancy. . . . despite knowing it intellectually, sometimes it's a little hard for me to believe I am actually pregnant. I still have basically no pregnancy symptoms. Occasional cramping in my lower abdomen, but (TMI) I have been really constipated lately (probably due to the PIO, I'm told), so I can't even be sure whether it's coming from my uterus. I have had no more nausea, and my energy level has been as normal. My breasts continue to be sore, but I've had that symptom since the morning after starting PIO.
On the one hand, I am happy to be feeling so good and relatively normal. (Honestly, the biggest problem I have at the moment is managing the occasional headache I get. I'm not permitted to take anything but Ty.len.ol, and it does little to nothing for my headaches, so a mild headache which Ad.vil would knock out in one dose lasts all day now.) On the other hand, I think I would be more reassured if I "felt pregnant."
We are counting the days until my first ultrasound next Monday. Maybe this will feel more real to me, despite my lack of symptoms, once I see something growing in there. ;-)
By the way, two bloggers I read regularly have recently had their babies. If you're in a frame of mind to read about such things, stop by and congratulate Kelly and Lisa.
Thanks, also, for all your input about how to handle MM's, um, over-solicitousness, and whether I should continue to write here. I think I am going to continue writing here for the time being.