Friday, July 1, 2011

Awful day

Yesterday was one of the hardest days I've lived through in a long time.  We lost my beloved golden retriever Sebastian.

Those of you who have been reading this blog long enough may remember the problems we had with our two golden retrievers two summers ago.  (I wrote about them here, in case you don't remember or weren't reading then.)   Happily, after an initial difficult adjustment period of a few months, Hunter and Sebastian became good friends.  They happily played and wrestled together every day.

What happened with Sebastian was very sudden.  On Wednesday night, he was his usual self.  When we woke up yesterday morning, he was lethargic and refused his food for the first time in his life.  Luckily, I had stayed home sick with a migraine (which awakened me at 2:20 a.m.), so I was able to take him to the vet promptly.

As Sebastian's condition deteriorated before my eyes--he went from seeming a little sluggish to being unable to get in and out of the car in a couple of hours--visits to two vets finally yielded a diagnosis.  Sebastian had a fast-growing tumor called a hemangiosarcoma in one of the chambers of his heart which had burst and caused a cardiac tamponade.

We were told that the immediate problem of the fluid in the sac around his heart could be treated but that the tumor would continue to grow and that the fluid would eventually come back.  It could happen in hours or days, and there was no way to know for sure how long the procedure would buy him.  There was no treatment which would cure him, though, and get him back to normal.

So we made the difficult decision to let Sebastian go.  MM and I were both with him at the end, and he seemed very peaceful.  Two vets told us that they didn't think he was in pain; he just had a hard time breathing.  So he didn't suffer very much or for very long.

MM and I are both so sad that he's gone.  At home, there are constant reminders of him.  I woke up early this morning to use the bathroom and then couldn't stop crying because Sebastian wasn't there next to my bed or coming into the bathroom to get petting.

Mine is obviously not an unbiased opinion, but I think Sebastian was an exceptional dog.  He was smart, mellow, friendly and fun, all the things a golden retriever should be.  I loved him very much and miss him terribly.








Sebastian  10/23/02 - 6/30/11

Goodbye, my loving and faithful friend.

23 comments:

  1. Oh I'm so sorry for your loss :( I can't imagine how hard it was to make that decision, even knowing it was the right one. *hug*

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss. It brings tears to my eyes just reading your story. Dogs are never in our lives long enough.

    Congratulations on your baby news. I am glad it finally happened for you.

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  3. Oh, this post made me cry. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Pets so quickly become members of the family and it's heartbreaking to lose them. I am so so sorry.

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  4. So deeply sorry to hear about Sebastian! He was so beautiful and I am happy that you were there to comfort him in his last moments on earth. Thinking of you!

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  5. I am so sorry to hear about Sebastian. It is so difficult to say goodbye.
    I'm sure Hunter is missing him too. I wish I had the right words to make
    This less sad right now. Let me know if you need anything.

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  6. I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful dog and friend. Sending a hug your way!

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  7. Oh, no! So, so sad. It's so hard to lose a pet - what a beautiful dog he was. :(

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  8. So, so very sorry for you loss. (((Hugs)))

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  9. S., I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.

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  10. I'm am so sorry to hear of the loss of Sebastian. Our pets give us so much love and leave such big holes when they are gone. Sending hope of comfort as you and Hunter grieve and adjust.

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  11. I am incredibly sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is never easy.

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  12. so sorry for you loss sweetie. holding you all in my thoughts....

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  13. Oh man, I am so sorry! It's so hard. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Hugs.

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  14. i am so sorry that you've had to say goodbye to sebastian -- losing a beloved pet is so difficult.

    thinking of you at this heartbreaking time, and hoping that you can find some happiness in the wonderful life that you were able to give him.

    i totally understand where you are coming from -- just this week we thought we were going to have to put our dog to sleep and the grief was heartwrenching. it's so hard to have to say goodbye.

    but know that sebastian will be waiting for you at rainbow bridge -- http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

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  15. I have tears in my eyes...I am so very sorry for your loss. Sebastian sounds like such an amazing dog. I lost my first dog very suddenly a few years ago and the shock of it happening so fast is really hard, I think. Wishing you peace during this very difficult time. Hugs.

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  16. OK .. I love ya! My golden passed away last month. I was in love with her. I think it is hard to deal with on a daily basis. Poppy was an amazing dog.She was our child---us infertility people often rely on furry friends......

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  17. Oh no, I'm so, so sorry. Your post made me cry! I lost my kitty of 17 years three years ago to a similar condition. We did the surgery and it bought her another year, but at the end it came back and she had horrible siezures. We had to make the hard decision then to let her go, and I'm so sorry she suffered so much at the end. It's so good Sebastian had a peaceful ending with both of you there. I know it doesn't help, but sending lots of hugs your way.

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  18. What a beautiful dog!! Hugs...

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  19. I am so, so sorry to read this. It is sooo hard to say goodbye, especially so suddenly. I hope knowing Sebastian isn't suffering gives you peace. hugs.

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  20. I'm so sorry honey - you have been in my thoughts all weekend. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected.

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  21. Oh I am so very sorry. I just cannot imagine losing your dog now. I am so sorry. They are so magnificent, you just cannot put into words what they give and give and give.

    I know it sounds sappy, but I take a lot of comfort in the whole idea of Rainbow Gate. It might be silly, but I just cant buy that dogs dont have souls. Just cannot believe it.

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