Isn't it funny how, even when you're infertile and have close-to-zero hope of conceiving naturally, there is still a tiny glimmer of hope that you might actually, miraculously, be pregnant each cycle? Until AF arrives, that is.
I started having my usual mild cramps and spotting yesterday afternoon, and today AF has undoubtedly made her monthly appearance. Her arrival is a few days earlier than expected, making this past cycle only 25 days long. I am beginning to seriously think that I am approaching menopause, given these shorter cycles I've been having the past few months.
Given that I'm about 99.5% sure that we are going to go ahead with DE IVF next summer, I guess the approach of menopause doesn't really matter as much. And apparently my eggs were already crap anyway, so who cares.
MM had his usual moment of anger last night when I told him AF was on her way. I said "Really? You actually still hope it'll happen?" And he responded "Yeah. And it's clear you don't."
Yeah. I cannot pinpoint precisely when it happened, but sometime in the past several months, I have (mostly) accepted that I am never going to get pregnant with my own eggs. A biological child is simply not in the cards for me.
While I can't say I'm happy about that, it is what it is.