Thursday, August 19, 2010

Query

Do you consider it disrespectful, disloyal, or otherwise inappropriate for a married man to send a woman he had a relationship with in high school a message on Fac.ebo.ok including the following:

Hope all is well, you look great, and I see you are married. He is a lucky guy, you were always a sweet heart!

Other factors to consider: the man in question has other ex-girlfriends on his friends list besides the recipient of this message; he and his wife have been married for 16 years and have two children, ages 15 and 9; and the sender and recipient have not seen one another in nearly 20 years.

17 comments:

  1. No, I don't think it is inappropriate, I think it is sweet. I am still friends with a hs bf and wouldn't think twice if he wrote something like that. Do you think it is?

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  2. That particular message doesn't strike me as inappropriate, but I have seen some "hey it's been a long time, you're a hottie, let's hook up" messages that are in extremely poor taste. This one seems genuinely kind.

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  3. Seems like a nice, innocent message to me.

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  4. I think it's fine. I don't have facebook, but isn't the point to reconnect with old friends?

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  5. I think it depends on the guy, his marriage and what his partner is okay with, and the relationship with the ex.

    My inclination is to say that it is not inappropriate, and if I was his wife, I may or may not be okay with it, depending on our relationship.

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  6. There is nothing wrong with it. Looking great could mean looking happy.

    T

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  7. Nope. I think it's sweet. I'm friends with almost all of my exes on facebook. My husband knows and it's only inappropriate when it's secretive. I always tell my husband and I just assume their wives know too. It was a long time ago. It's nice to see them happy, with their families, etc.

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  8. Nah, it seems fine (based on what you said)

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  9. I think it's fine. I have a couple old boyfriends that I am still in contact (minimal) but they were friends too.

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  10. I agree with the above posters, it seems fine to me. I am friends with a few ex boyfriends on facebook and we have traded a few harmless messages back and forth.

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  11. I think it's a lovely comment. Think about what the man would say in person to the recipient of the comment. Same thing! And lovely to hear. :)

    Hmmm, I have a question for you on my blog. VERY interested in what your thoughts are about my query of late. :)

    http://ivfgirl.com/would-you-rather/

    B

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  12. I don't think it's inappropriate either, sounds sweet and innocent enough

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  13. I'd take it as a compliment and move on, if I were on the receiving end. It seems pretty innocent. If I found out my husband was emailing his ex-es and complimenting them, I'm not sure how I'd feel about that.

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  14. No, I don't think it's inappropriate. I'm obviously not in the same situation as this man but I have sent my ex a similar message on FB (and I by no means have any interest in getting back together with him).

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  15. Aw, I think it's sweet. Sounds like he's remembering you fondly. :)

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