IUI #2.1*

*I refer to it as "2.1" because we should have really had IUI #2 in June.

Today MM's appointment was scheduled for 8:30 a.m. and mine was scheduled for 10:00 a.m. I triggered late Wednesday night, and everything looked good to go. Even before the trigger, I could tell ovulation was close by my CM, and it became even more abundant after the hCG injection.

MM left for the clinic with time to spare. There was no road construction to hold him up. All was on track.

At 8:40 a.m., I got a call from MM telling me that he couldn't "do it." He had been in the masturbatorium (my word for it, not the clinic's) for a while and just didn't think he'd be able to, er, perform.

At first, I thought he might be finished and joking with me. . . but as I listened, I realized that this is not something that he would ever joke about. So I remained calm and matter-of-fact-ly told him that if he couldn't do it, he couldn't do it. He should just tell the staff so that they could cancel my IUI appointment and refund the co-pay for processing his sample. He expressed concern about all the injections I'd taken and the money we've spent, and I pointed out to him that *some* sperm would get to those eggs through intercourse. Our odds of success would be slightly lowered by going that route only, but not to zero.

After we talked a few minutes, he said he would go back in and try "one more time." He called me back about 15 minutes later to say that he'd been successful, though he'd had to "resort to" watching porn. (Hey, I'm pretty sure that's what it's there for. . . ) He also told me later that he thought calling me helped: part of the pressure he'd been feeling had apparently been a result of his thinking that I would "freak out" if he couldn't "get the job done."

I'd place bets that had MM walked out to the front and told the staff he couldn't do it, he would not have been the first-ever man to find himself in that predicament. Yes, our part is much worse. . . even MM acknowledges that. . . but it's still hard for most men to perform under pressure, I'm sure.

I was surprised that I was able to remain so zen about the whole thing. When we did our first IUI in April, I would've definitely freaked out if MM had called me with the same situation. Now? It is what it is. He could either do it, or he couldn't, and no amount of upset on my part was going to change that. Slightly out of character for me. Hmm.

The IUI itself was uneventful. I was brought in shortly after my appointment time and had the NP whom I like/know for the appointment (and who also did my first IUI). Physically, I felt pretty much the same as I did with my first IUI in April: some cramping and pressure, but nothing unbearable. I continue to be bloated and feel pressure--and occasional twinges of mild pain--in my lower abdomen, but the scale was down 2 lbs this morning, so maybe my water retention is beginning to subside.

So now the wait begins. I am supposed to POAS two weeks from today, but I will actually wait two weeks and a day so that I can POAS on a Saturday morning rather than a Friday morning. (I've learned through painful experience that I don't generally have a productive work day after waking up to a BFN. And I can only imagine how distracted I will be if a get a BFP!)

I've never been one to POAS early, and with the hCG trigger shot, I am even less likely to do so. (The only way that would work in my mind would be to "test out" my trigger and start POAS-ing tomorrow or the next day. I believe that this only fuels unhealthy obsessing, and so I don't/won't do it.)

I hope that the next two weeks are as busy as the past two. If they are, I won't have much time to obsess.

Any prayers, positive vibes, good thoughts, white light, energy or the like that anyone cares to send my way will be greatly appreciated.

P.S. Did anyone else find that the Clomid/Follistim combination made you really tired? I was EXHAUSTED all day yesterday: went home a little over 4:00 and napped for over an hour, and then went to bed at 8:30 p.m. and slept straight through--except for one bathroom trip--until nearly 7:00 a.m. VERY unusual for me, as nearly always sleep soundly for 7-8 hours a night and thus am hardly ever tired unless I'm ill.