Monday, June 20, 2011

POAS redux

You may recall that I wrote here about how I was considering testing early at home on Father's Day.  I never posted a follow-up because, even after all your terrific and helpful comments, I was still on the fence about what I would do.

MM knows me so well.  He started asking me on Saturday when I was planning to POAS.  Even though I usually don't POAS, he knew that, with the stakes being this high and with there being a good likelihood that a test might actually be positive, I would be tempted.  (Neither of us are known for our patience.)

When I explained to him that I had considered testing on Sunday morning and why ("Wouldn't be cool to find out I'm pregnant on Father's Day?"), his initial reaction was to adamantly ask me not to POAS.  But as the evening wore on, he asked me more and more questions about the likelihood of seeing a "real" BFP early on. . . . and eventually, by around 9:00 p.m., he was *asking* me to POAS.

I explained to him that POAS at that time was not ideal circumstances--end of the day and I'd had lots of water to drink; only 10 dpo (days past ovulation), 5dp5dt--but he insisted.  So I obliged, and it was, naturally, a BFN.  Stark white window next to the single test line.

I hadn't been sure how I'd feel seeing an early BFN.  Historically it has bummed me out.  But Saturday night, I felt nothing.  I was just sure that I had tested way too early.

I spent the rest of the night reassuring MM over and over that this BFN didn't mean that our cycle had failed, that it was just too early to test.  I even resorted to quoting a study from fer.tilit.yfr.iend which talks about when you might expect a positive test if you *are* pregnant.  By bedtime, I think I had convinced him that there was no cause for concern, but he was still bummed.  He asked me not to test again in the morning, and I agreed.

Yesterday morning, Sunday, I woke up around 5:00 a.m. with a migraine.  (Thank goodness, it was a mild one--only moderate pain, dizziness, and light sensitivity, not severe pain and nausea--but crappy nonetheless when I can't take any of my medications for it.)  Clearly POAS was the furthest thing from my mind at that point, and besides, I had promised MM.  I spent most of yesterday napping or lying around with an icepack on my head.  I still had some pain until an hour or so before bedtime last night.

I should also mention that, unrelated to my migraine, I was also having some mild, off-and-on cramping in my lower abdomen most of yesterday, as well as an occasional feeling of heaviness.  I attributed this to my uterus, but who knows.

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and headache-free.  After feeling completely neutral upon seeing Saturday night's BFN, I felt like I'd be OK to POAS this morning.  I told myself I'd just bury the test in the trash if it was negative, and MM wouldn't have to worry.  We are now 7dp5dt (12dpo), so I thought there was a chance of a BFP if I am pregnant.

Here's a photo of this morning's test:


Not sure if it comes through in the photo--I had a devil of a time getting a good shot of the HPT--but there is the faintest of second lines.  I thought my mind was playing tricks on me at first, but when I compare it to Saturday night's obvious BFN, it's clear there is a second line.

So I'm feeling cautiously optimistic this morning that this cycle did indeed work and I am pregnant!  I realize there are many things which may go wrong, even between now and Friday's beta, but for today, I am happy.

(Oh, and I'm leaving the HPT on the kitchen table for MM to see when he gets up.)

EDITED TO ADD:  MM saw the HPT, and as I thought, was more skeptical than excited.  He expressed concern about how faint the line is and wasn't too reassured by my telling him "a line is a line."  He wanted to know "Shouldn't it be darker if you are really pregnant?"
Of course, he is cautiously optimistic, but I don't think he'll really believe it until Friday's beta.  Maybe not even then, LOL.
He also said "I don't think we should be telling anyone until we know for sure.  You haven't been emailing your friends, have you?"
Um, no.  I emailed my sister, I called my college friend KK and I posted here. . . . but I haven't emailed any friends.  ;-)
(So if you know us in real life, keep this on the down-low until further notice.)

28 comments:

  1. I see it! I see the line! Yay!!! Crossing my fingers for an awesome beta on Friday. :)

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  2. That is a BFP, clear as day. Exciting stuff!!

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  3. That is distinctly a second line!!! Congratulations!!! Hope MM is THRILLED!!!

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  4. Hurray!!!! I see it! Thoughts and prayers for a sticky bean!

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  5. There is totally a second line there! Congrats hun, you're officially knocked up! :)

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  6. Yay, yay, yay! Keep going baby(ies) M!

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  7. I can see it too! sending all my positive vibes your way.

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  8. I have peed on MANY sticks and only have seen the stark white, except when I was indeed pregnant and it started as a very faint line like yours. I would say that yes, indeed you ARE pregnant at this very moment :) Congrats!

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  9. Congratulations!!! I'm jumping up and down over here! I bet MM was so surprised seeing your pee stick this morning! Glad the migraine is easing up, no fun to have to deal with that sans medications!

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  10. Fantastic! :). So happy for you and MM.

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  11. OMG!! It's definitely there - stick little one(s), stick!!! :)

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  12. Congrats!!!!! I'm so super excited for you, and hoping for a great number on your beta! I can't tell you how happy I am to read this post!

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  13. I see it so clearly! Wow! As soon as I saw that there was a picture attached to the post I skipped the writing and peeked. Woohoo! I am so excited for you both and hope for a happy and healthy nine months. Can't wait to hear your beta number, because to me that looks like a pretty strong line for 7DP5DT.

    (It's is weird, I use bloglines as a blog feed, and kept checking there because I was sure you would have a post today, but it kept showing me that there was nothing new. I finally just clicked on your blog and sure enough there was a post. Guess I must have had a good feeling for you!)

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  14. Great news! Congrats! I'm so happy for you guys!

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  15. Yay!!!!!!! Although I just knew you would get your BFP, I was still anxiously awaiting the good news! I am so happy for you! And, to offer reassurance on a light line, here is the pic of my test at 9dp3dt.

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  16. yes that is definitely a line!!!! congrats!!!!!!!!!!!

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  17. Definitely a line! Can't wait to hear about your beta.

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  18. What a great line! Hoping you get a nice strong beta!

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  19. Eee. That's a line! Congrats. Wishing you patience till Friday's Beta. Hoping that everything goes well for you guys.

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  20. A line is a line is a LINE!! You are PG!!! It gets darker and darker. Tell him about my dumpster stick story...well my little beta hcg of 82 is now kicking in my tummy at 34w5d! Congrats S...this is absolutely the best news of my day!

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  21. looks like a line to me! :-] (that's my "cautiously optimistic" smiley)

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  22. That is awesome! Congratulations! My first beta was the day after I saw a line like that, it was 42, 3 days later it had doubled in 56 hours. Totally normal little boy (born a little early) came of that low beta...

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  23. BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!

    doing the happy dance!!

    why do men need the line to be "DARKER?" a line is a line, dood!!!! the woman is knocked up!!

    hurray!!! this is it!! so excited for you!!

    xoxoxo

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  24. Huge smile on my face!!!!!!!!! congrats to you, I am beyond excited!!!

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  25. A line is a line is a line!!!!

    Mine was a slight one at first and now look at me - crazy and still pregnant! Join me, but not in the crazy part....

    Congratulations. You are on your way.

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