Saturday, May 30, 2009

Living life

This break cycle has been so nice for me. I am beginning to remember what my life was like before we started TTC, and it was (is!) good!

I haven't carried through with my plan to focus more on my health this cycle by eating better and exercising more. . . . primarily because things were crazy-busy at work for a couple of weeks and I am now getting over a nasty head cold. But I have been spending more time focusing on other things: a visit with my dad and stepmom, my job, my piano lessons, my golden retrievers, our vacation to DC in the fall.

Last week I got a call from the clinic where I did acupuncture for three months. They called because I haven't been in for a session in over a month. (I can only go on Saturdays, and I had plans for three of the four Saturdays that month; the fourth Saturday, both the practitioners were unavailable due to a conference.)

Although I know that acupuncture has helped some people--and my RE actually recommends it to his patients--I don't think that I am going to go back. It is expensive: $95 per session at my clinic (which specializes in the treatment of infertility), plus the price of my herbs. Depending upon where I am in my cycle, the herbs are usually between $20 and $30 per week. It's been nice having that $400-500 per month to spend on other things.

Aside from the expense, taking the herbs three times a day was inconvenient (and most of the formulations taste nasty!). In addition to the inconvenience, having to steep and drink the herbs three times a day was yet another reminder of our unsuccessful efforts to conceive.

Also, I believe that a three-month trial was enough for me to know that the treatment didn't really help me. For a while, I thought that the acupuncture was at least decreasing the frequency of my migraines, even if it wasn't making me more fertile. . . . but in the now five weeks since I've had a session, I haven't had a single migraine. So it seems that any "reduction" in the number of headaches I was having was a mere coincidence. (MM would say a placebo effect; he thinks the whole thing is hooey anyway.)

Being on a break has part of me wishing we could stop TTC altogether. I am not yet ready to give up all hope of our having a child of our own--and I know MM is not--but part of me wishes I was. It's so nice to just live life!

Some wonderful things have happened this month. I have volunteered for five-and-a-half years with M, a little girl in foster care. M has lived with three different relatives, in one group home, and in five different foster placements since she was removed from her father's care at the age of 3 (she is now 9). No fewer than four sets of adoptive parents (including one of her grandmothers) have walked away at various points in the (lengthy) process without adopting her. She has been in foster care limbo and "legally free" to be adopted since October 2004.

At long last, after over four-and-a-half years of waiting, M is now in a permanent home. These prospective adoptive parents seem to be wonderful people and very committed to her. I could hardly have picked a more ideal place for her to end up. I continue to pray that nothing will happen to disrupt this situation, but now am cautiously optimistic that M has found a "forever home" at last.

Thinking of M and her situation reminds me: I'm still working on that post about why MM and I don't feel that adoption is the path for us in the event that I don't get pregnant. I hope to post it later this weekend.

Although I haven't been writing on here, I have been reading blogs. I hope everyone who was reading this one has not given up on it after over a week with no entries!

Off to enjoy my weekend. . . . .

3 comments:

  1. I found this post to be similar as to what we have been going through in our lives.

    "Being on a break has part of me wishing we could stop TTC altogether. I am not yet ready to give up all hope of our having a child of our own--and I know MM is not--but part of me wishes I was. It's so nice to just live life!"

    We are giving ourselves to the end of the year, then we are offically calling it quits for ttc.

    I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the adoption issue.

    Enjoy your weekend too and (((((((BugsHugs))))))))

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  2. I'm glad you have enjoyed your break. Sometimes that's hard to enjoy, but it sounds like you've taken some good time for yourself, which is great! You've got me so curious on your adoption post!!! Such a tease! LOL. Have an awesome weekend!

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  3. Wow, I can totally relate to just wanting to "live life." We've enjoyed our month off as well and are trying to decide how much longer to do all of the treatments. I'm glad you've enjoyed your time off and have been able to focus on other things!

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