I had a wonderful, busy weekend during which I didn't think much about TTC. Just what I needed! It was so nice to live my life and not think about our failures.
MM and I talked quite a bit about the TTC process to date and our planned next steps on Friday night (mainly because we had to drive over two hours to reach our destination). Though our reasons are slightly different, we are pretty much in agreement that we will not go as far as IVF. Our insurance will pay for a portion (about 50%) of 6 IUI cycles, so we've agreed that we will at least do that many IUI cycles.
If it turns out that we don't conceive through IUI or on our own, we will reassess the situation then, but will likely move toward resigning ourselves to living childless. IVF and adoption do not seem, to us, to be viable alternatives for us, for reasons that I don't have the time or energy to explain in today's post. (Maybe I will write more about each topic some day when I have the time and energy.)
Knowing that we don't plan to do anything past IUIs, I've considered taking a break and doing one every other cycle. I'd also like to lose some weight and think that perhaps that might help our odds of conception, even though anovulation is not a problem I've had and our RE has never suggested that my weight is in any way affecting our TTC efforts. But I am too attuned to the ticking clock that symbolizes the days until I turn 40 to put it off.
Currently I am just waiting for my period to arrive. The Clomid, hCG, or progesterone--or some combination of the three--have totally jacked up my cycle, and I am having the longest luteal phase I have ever had since I've charted. I would've expected my period by Saturday evening at the latest; here it is Monday morning, and I've had no signs that it's on its way. My cycles are usually between 26 and 28 days long, so I'm way past my usual cycle length already.
Until my period arrives, I am in limbo. My post-IUI instructions were to call to schedule a blood test if Friday's HPT was positive or, if the HPT was negative, to stop the progesterone and call on cycle day one. My instructions say that my period should arrive within 2-3 days of stopping progesterone, so if I don't have my period by Wednesday morning, I'll likely call the RE's office.
Here I go again. Wait, wait, wait.